Shit Happens

I had a good weekend. The main message I got was. "If think your life is bad, just wait. It will get worse." How is this good? I have a long explanation.

Saturday I went with my friends Robin and Don to the High Desert Baptist Association semi-annual meeting. I didn't expect much: I'm not a big fan of meetings. I thought it would be good to go at least once. I'm treasurer at my church. Even though we are pretty informal that does make me a corporate officer. I also don't know much about Southern Baptists. This is my first Southern Baptist church. Also, I have been trained theologically so I do have some interest in ecclesiastical doings.

The meeting had three main parts. First there were breakout sessions (seminars). Then the main business meeting. Then a repeat of the seminars.

The meeting wasn't bad, but it wasn't that interesting either. I didn't care much for the main speaker. He had that preacher fast-talking-loud-almost-yelling style that I don't like. Nothing really wrong with him, just didn't do much for me. At least the business side of the meeting was efficient. I appreciated that -- why keep us bored longer than necessary. There was some pastoral posturing and backhanded bragging that I've grown used to in Christian circles. Nothing really bad, and most people there seemed pretty cool. Still, I wish we'd quit doing stuff like that.

The seminars, on the other hand, turned out very well. After the main meeting I attended a seminar on how the Southern Baptist cooperative program works. I learned that Southern Baptist Churches are very independent. We don't even have to affirm the SB statement of faith. The SB hierarchy cannot tell churches what to do. Churches join as they wish, believe as they wish and contribute as they wish. I liked that. There is an approval process, so I assumed no real whacked out organizations can join. The main reason for the organization is to cooperate on stuff. The main stuff they cooperate on is missions work. The SBs are very mission minded. I liked that a lot. Very efficient with a clear goal and methodology for helping fulfill the Great Commission. Overall I was very encouraged. I much more proud of being a Southern Baptist and now can more clearly explain what that means.

So far, you're wondering how all this relates to my title. The link is this: Robin gave the first seminar. Now Robin is not shitty or anything. In fact, I love hearing him speak. However, I wasn't going to go to his seminar. Even after I went, Robin asked why I'd gone. I have heard him give the same talk before. I've read his book on the subject. (The unpublished "The Complaint of Jacob," which I highly recommend.) I've heard his ideas many other times. When we got to the meeting Don wanted to go to Robin's talk and I was new and felt like hanging with Don and I do like listening to Robin. So I went and it turned out to be just what I needed.

In Genesis 42 Jacob complains about his life. From his point of view he is right. His life is crap. His wife, Rachael, the love of his life is dead. His favorite son, Joseph, is dead. His family is staving. His sons traveled to Egypt to get food and pissed off the prime minister so badly Simeon is held in jail. This same prime minister now wants his beloved youngest son Benjamin to come to Egypt.

Jacob is absolutely right from his point of view. However, he is absolutely wrong. In reality Joseph is not dead, but is the prime minister of Egypt. God will use him to bless Jacob's family and the world. Life really could not be better.

I needed to hear what Robin said. I whine and get depressed. I needed reminding how much God loves me. How the bad stuff is not my fault. How God will get me through. Even though there is bad in my life, including bad that I've done and bad caused by the bad I've done, God has not given up on me. He loves me and does have a good plan. It probably won't involve wealth and massive success in this life, but God does take care of me. There really is a lot good about my life. I need to quit searching for current comfort and success and being depressed when it doesn't happen. I need to remember that God is in my life and trust him.

Then Sunday, Don preached about almost the same thing. He talked about how Jeremiah complained in Jeremiah 12. God's answer: "If you've run with men and are tired, how will you run with horses?" In other words, "You think this is bad, just wait. It will get worse!" Wow! At first this sounds depressing. However, pause and think for a minute. If it were true that doing good means you will live a wonderful life, then the fact that your life is not all wonderful and successful means you are screwing up. If, on the other hand, it is normal even for good people to suffer, then suffering does not mean we are evil. It does not mean that we are screwing up. In fact the Bible says the godly will suffer.

So many people in our lives, so many preachers in church and on TV, tell us that if we just believe enough or do something better our lives will be wonderful. It is very easy to feel tremendous guilt for our failures. I do it all the time. I need to stop and accept the shit in my life. I need to just trust that God loves me and is leading me in a good direction.

So God thought I needed to hear essentially the same message twice this weekend. As message I've heard many times before and even told others many times before. God was right. I feel much better and more focused.

I am fickle. After my good weekend I got depressed Monday about stuff that happened in court (I'm still on a jury). Tuesday I played racquetball and got depressed about how I played. I forget so quickly. The good news is that in both cases I finally remembered what I'd learned over the weekend and it helped me through.

I had a chance to share some of these thoughts with a friend who had a hard day Monday. I was kind of clumsy, but overnight it jelled into a thought I want to share.

"Despite what parents and other guilt producing entities may say, most of the shit in your life is not there because you are doing something wrong."

A related idea: "There's nothing you can do to remove most of the shit in your life."

Or, as they say, "Shit happens."

I now have a new erenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the shit I cannot change, the courage to remove the shit I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Shit happens to all of us. Don't take it personally. Trust God, know that he loves you and live through the shit.