Miller's Musings

God and Infinity

2012-01-11T12:36:00.000-08:00

We who believe in God often call him infinite. Even those who do not believe often accept the infiniteness of God as part of the necessary definition of God. I’d like to examine this usage in more detail, and suggest that using “infinite” in referring to God needs to be done carefully.

The basic problem is how one defines “infinite”. In common usage it means “immeasurably great” or “unbounded”. There is nothing wrong with these ideas in and of themselves. The supreme being should be “immeasurably great” and “unbounded”. A bounded being certainly is less than whatever binds it and so can no longer be considered supreme. As a believer in the Bible, I also find that God is there often described as having immeasurably great power and unbounded mercy and love.

The problem is not with these concepts, but trying to extend beyond these to draw logical conclusions. As a mathematician I’ve learned that ideas about infinity do not follow our normal intuition.

Mathematical Infinity

For many centuries mathematicians were aware of infinity, but never really defined it. Some considered it so vague that it should not be part of proper mathematics. Even during my time at UCLA, long after infinity had been precisely defined, the professor who taught me the most about infinity and its definition personally disliked the idea of infinity and told me he thought we should avoid it. When mathematicians, who excel at precise definitions avoid something, we should take notice.

Sets and Size

Mathematicians have defined infinity by using the notion of a set. A set is a group of things. If a set contains the numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4 it would be shown like this: {1, 2, 3, 4}. A set can contain anything. For example, I could also have the set {cat, apple, computer, moon}.

To define infinity, we first address the question of how big a set is. More specifically, how do we tell if two sets are the same size? The obvious answer is to count. The set {1, 2, 3, 4} has four elements, as does the set {cat, apple, computer, moon}.

However, there is another way to compare sizes. We can tell if sets are the same size by matching the members. For example, we could make this match: 1 – cat, 2 – apple, 3 – computer, 4 – moon. The match shows the sets are the same size. Mathematicians call this a mapping, specifically a one-to-one mapping. Now say we have another set, {dog, fish, pen}. We could try the same sort of mapping: 1 – dog, 2 – fish, 3 – pen, 4 - ?. However there is a problem. The 4 has nothing left to match. This means the sets are different sizes. There is no one-to-one mapping between them.

Determining a set size by matching is useful when counting is hard. For example, if I have a few hundred pennies and want to count them, I might put them in stacks of ten. Rather than count each stack, I make one stack of ten, then just compare each new stack with the first stack to make it the right size. Doing all those comparisons is a lot faster and less prone to error than counting every penny. To get the final count I just count the stacks and multiply by ten.

This brings us to infinite sets and Georg Cantor. Infinite sets are not only hard to count, they are impossible to count. Cantor asked whether all infinite sets are the same size. This seems like a ridiculous question. Of course they’re all the same size – they’re infinite! But what about when you have an infinite set that contains another infinite set. Is the contained set smaller or the same size?

Take the set of all the counting number, the positive integers: {1, 2, 3, …}. (The “…” means they just keep going.) Also look at the set of even numbers: {2, 4, 6, …}. Which is bigger? One obvious answer is the counting number are bigger because even numbers are contained in (are a subset of) the counting numbers. However, another obvious answer is that they are the same size, because both are infinite. Which is correct?

Consider a mapping between the sets where the counting numbers are multiplied by two. So counting number “1” maps to even number “2”, counting number “2” maps to even number “4”, and so on. Every counting number can be mapped to an even number. In other words, given any counting number, just multiply by two to get its corresponding even number. If you have 324, its corresponding even number is 648. Likewise, given any even number, you can find its associated counting number by dividing by two. If you have the even number 486, its corresponding counting number is 243. The point is every counting number has a matching even number and every even number has a matching counting number. Thus the sets have a one-to-one mapping and they are the same size.

Infinity Defined

At this point many might be thinking, “It’s a trick. The even numbers must be smaller. They are a subset of the counting numbers.” All I can say to that is that it’s not a trick, but follows directly from the idea of a one-to-one mapping. In fact, it leads to the following definition of an infinite set.

An infinite set is a set which has subsets that are not equal to it but are the same size.

That definition probably does not make anyone happy at first glance. It seems again like a trick. Shouldn’t the definition be more like “An infinite set is one that goes on forever”? Trouble is, words like “forever” contain the idea of infinity, so such a definition is circular. The mathematical definition recognizes an infinite set as the only kind of set which can have elements removed and still remain the same size. As such it supports the notion that infinity remains infinite even tweaked a little. Removing some stuff does not reduce its size. Conversely, adding some stuff does not increase its size.

Different Sized Infinities

Despite what has been shown so far, despite the definition of an infinite set that allows some stuff to be added or subtracted from a set and that set remains the same size, there are different sizes of infinity. I feel I’ve already provided enough confusion. In exchange for not confusing you further, I ask that you accept the possibility that infinite sets can be different sizes. In fact, Cantor showed that not only are there there infinite sets of different sizes, he showed that there are an infinite number of different sizes of infinite sets! For those that wish a better discussion I recommend reading A Brief Introduction to Infinity.

Are These Infinities Real?

Do mathematical infinities correspond to God or any other reality? Are there physical (or spiritual) infinities of different sizes? I don’t know. I do know that the mathematical definition of infinity is the only rigorous one I know. It also seems to be about as simple as possible. Despite its relative simplicity, it leads to bizarre consequences like subsets that are the same size as their contained set and infinities of different sizes. Can we expect real-life infinities, if they exist, to be any less bizarre?

Infinity in Theology

Now that we’ve looked at a rigorous definition of infinity, let’s examine some theological concepts in light of the mathematical definition of infinity.

First, consider a common argument against the idea of God existing. “If God exists and is all-powerful, can he make a rock that he can’t lift?” If he can’t make the rock, the argument says, then he is limited and not all powerful. If, on the other hand, God makes such a rock, then the existence of the rock is a limitation of God’s power. Again we have a God who is limited. Quite some time ago I came to the conclusion that the problem with this argument is defining “a rock God cannot lift.” It is a nonsensical statement, like saying can God make a true lie? The sentence is correct grammar but a nonsensical combination words, as nonsensical as Jabberwocky.

However, now that I look at this argument from an infinity point-of-view, how do I know it contains a nonsensical definition? I can only know that if I understand infinity. Perhaps the real problem with this argument is assuming too much knowledge about “all-powerful”. Perhaps my objection to it and the argument itself both assume too much about infinity. Given that a mathematically infinite set can lose something and still be infinite, maybe God can lose part of his power and still be infinitely powerful. So maybe a rock God cannot lift is not a nonsensical concept. But by the same token, if God does create such a rock, maybe he is still all-powerful.

A related concept has to do with God being all-powerful and people having free will. Maybe an infinitely powerful God can give people some of his power and still remain infinitely powerful. Some say that God cannot allow free will in people because doing so reduces his sovereignty. Maybe these people can now relax because in the world of infinite it is possible to give power away and still retain the same amount of power.

We’ve talked about God’s infinite power, what about his boundless love and mercy? People often say that God cannot be loving because there is so much evil in the world, or so much evil in their own lives. But given how counter-intuitive even relatively simple mathematically infinity is, how can we expect to understand God’s infinite love? Are questions of God’s love valid? Certainly. Will giving a mathematical proof of his love comfort someone who is hurting? Certainly not. However, in our times of calm reflection and rational thought, perhaps we can at least realize how limited our understanding is of an infinite God.

Finally, let’s consider the Christian doctrine of the trinity, or triune nature of God. How can God be one and three at the same time? Again, I don’t know. But perhaps the mathematically concept of infinity can be illustrative. Earlier we saw how the even numbers are the same size as the counting numbers. Likewise the odd numbers are also the same size. We are able to split the counting numbers into two sets, odds and evens. Those two sets are not half as big, but are each as big as the original. A three-way split could just as easily be accomplished (multiples of three, numbers that divide by three with remainder of one, numbers that divide by three with remainder of two). Could not an infinite God also be divided into three parts, each of which is as big and the original? Does this prove or even fully explain the trinity? Of course not. But at least it is food for thought and opens new avenues of thinking.

Infinite Possibilities

As I said above I make no claims that mathematical infinity matches any reality. In fact, making such a claim can lead to other problems. For example, as we mentioned above mathematical infinities have infinitely many different sizes. If we claim God fits the mathematical definition of infinite, we must immediately ask what size is God’s infinity. Or is God somehow more infinite than all mathematical infinities (which, I think, was roughly Cantor’s view)? Rather than making such a strong claim, what I hope I’ve done is convince you to be careful in your handling of concepts that include infinity and to open you up to new thought possibilities in your search for truth and contemplation of the infinite.

Creation Science Destroys the Beauty of Genesis

2011-02-21T10:10:00.000-08:00

I was in Sunday School last week when our teacher, the brilliant author R. P. Nettelhorst (you really should check out his writing, even though this is a shameless plug by a friend) pointed out that the Genesis creation account parallels the Mesopotamian creation account, Enuma Elish. This lead me to think that so-called "Creation Science" really destroys the literary genius of the Genesis account. Let me explain.

I've already written about the true meaning of the Genesis creation account. It wasn't written to combat modern 21st century science. It was written to combat polytheism. There are not innumerable gods as in Egypt. There is one God who did all. So already I think "Creation Science" misses the whole point of the Genesis account. (And so I keep using the quotes, because it's not the correct view of creation and it certainly isn't science.)

However, I was missing something that's very cool. I used to cringe when people compared Genesis to Enuma Elish. After all, I believe the Bible is the word of God. How humiliating to see it as just a rip-off of a stupid polytheistic legend. What my friend, R. P., pointed out is that it's not a rip-off, it's a specific counter to the Enuma Elish.

So I looked up Enuma Elish and found this page. The Enuma Elish has six stages of creation. Genesis gives six days of creation. In each stage of the Enuma Elish a new god is created. On each day of Genesis, God creates something new. Here is how they align.

Enuma Stage/Genesis Day	Enuma god (function)	Genesis	Notes
1	Tiamat (primeval chaos & bearer of sky and earth) and Apsu (water)	In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep (or watery chaos), while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. (1:1-2)	In the Biblical Hebrew "chaos" is "Tehowim", similar to Tiamat.
2	Lahamu (muddy silt)	And God said, "Let there be a dome in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters." (1:6-7)	God slicing waters with the dome parallels Marduk slicing open Tiamat to make land and sky
3	Kishar (the Earth)	And God said, "Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. (1:9-10)
4	Anu (sky)	God made the two great lights--the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night-- and the stars. (1:16)
5	Ea (speaks and makes all things of the Earth)	So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, of every kind, with which the waters swarm, and every winged bird of every kind. And God saw that it was good. (1:21)	Ea speaks the things of the Earth into existence. God speaks everything into existence.
6	Marduk (king of gods and creator of man)	Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, (1:26) And on the seventh day God finished the work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all the work that he had done. (2:2)	Marduk makes people his slaves so he can rest. God finishes creation with people in his image, rests on seventh day and gives it as a holy day of rest for people.

Again we see the same message. There are not many gods. There is one God. God is telling his people that the story they have heard is all wrong. Genesis isn't a rip-off of Enuma Elish, it's a brilliant literary reversal of the common mythology of the time. "Creation Science", in its haste to refute what it sees as modern scientific evil, perverts the beauty and brilliance of the Genesis account by twisting it into a modern scientific treatise. Very sad indeed.

One more thing. Notice that Enuma Elish teaches that people are slaves of Marduk. Genesis teaches that people are the image of God and get to rest just like he does. What a complete difference. God walks and talks with people in Genesis. He treats us are equals in many ways. He loves us. Genesis is the complete opposite of Enuma Elish, just as the Bible is the complete opposite of so many beliefs that make the world a place of inhuman gods that want to harm us.

There is only one God. His love for us is inconceivable. Why pervert Genesis with any other meaning than that?

Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T08:20:00.000-08:00

Most years I have to think about what I'm thankful for. Not this year. Easy: I just got a new job after a long layoff. No-brainer there. We were looking at some tough times starting in January so this was close to our last chance. Very thankful indeed.

However, I'm not just thankful for finding a job. My year of unemployment -- yes a whole year -- has actually been very good for me. First, my former company gave me a good severance package. We were a lot better off than many unemployed, we kept our house, never wanted for food or anything else. Took it easy on the spending, but basically lived life as normal. God has been very good to us.

Because I was no longer commuting I became much more plugged into our community. Some of this was just the simple things like driving some streets I didn't usually drive, using the library regularly, shopping, or getting out during the week. But I also volunteered. I already had volunteered with a local high school robot club. With more schedule flexibility I was able to be much more involved. Very enjoyable and rewarding.

I also joined a job club, AVPPNG. They helped me tremendously with moral support and navigating unemployment and job searching. I eventually was elected president and got to practice seldom used leadership and people skills. I made several friends as well as networking contacts.

Our church held a "Biggest Loser" contest. I was motivated to lose 45lbs. In winning, I am now officially the biggest loser at church. The contest motivated me to up my running schedule and start a running group. Over the course of the year I became much more fit and reduced my 5k PR by 4 1/2 minutes (29:55 to 25:17 -- not very fast, but still a great improvement). At one point I could run fast enough and do enough push-ups, sit-ups, mountain climbers and pull-ups to pass the LA County Sheriff's PT 500 physical exam (arthritis problems have since forced me to back down a little). Through our running group I got involved with a soccer team and now play once or twice a week. Our group met a lot at Apollo Park. While running there on my own one day (group dissolved) I met a fellow runner who is the very well-know dog trainer, Kyra Sundance.

Lately I realized that what I love doing is developing software. I took initiative to start learning on my own. I realized that such learning and initiative would help me in my job search. It also was fun and re-energized me. It has made me more aware of how much I do not know and need to keep learning. I am much more excited now about my career and about learning many new things. This learning and enthusiasm, the lessons I also learned from job searching and interviewing, led directly to me landing my new job.

The real negative about being laid off is the stress of not knowing, of seeing the money dwindling, of having to be ready to network and search and respond to employer requests at a moment's notice. In some ways that stress is self-induced. I too easily forget Matthew 6:33-34: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Self induced or not, the stress is very real. Waking up at 4am stressed out about not having work is no fun. Also, I don't like being forced into anything, especially not having to reach out (kiss-up?) to people. But job search forces me to do just that. And a funny thing happened. I've become much more comfortable with it. Happy I found a job and don't have to be so uncertain? Ecstatic!! Still, now I know I can survive this.

Bottom line: the process has been very good for me. There are still many problems in life, but I feel better able to handle them. My new job is temporary -- a three month contract. I could be right back out there looking very soon. I'm not thrilled about this, but am OK with it. When I was first laid off a trainer said on average we'd do this again in 3-5 years. That scared the crap out of me. Now, it's OK. I know more about what to do. More importantly, I have a much better vision of what I want to do and how to get there. I'm much more confident in myself and in God working in my life. It's been a very good year.

Please Stop Hating

2010-09-10T05:52:00.000-07:00

I am Christian and it hurts when people who call themselves Christian do hateful things. I am referring to the threatened Quran burning by Terry Jones. Christianity is about love, not hate. Enough evil has been done in the name of Christ, a man who said love is the greatest good. Please, Mr. Jones and my fellow Christians, stop violating the message of Jesus.

Jesus called us to love our enemies. How is provocation love? OK, Mr. Jones, I know loving your enemies is hard. How about showing a little consideration for your fellow believers? Burning copies of the Quran in Florida is relatively safe. How about the violent reaction it causes in other parts of the world? Do you really have so little regard for others that you're OK with the persecution, injury and death of Christians around the world that your actions will incite? Do you ever think about or pray for believers in places like Pakistan, Saudia Arabia and Syria?

Mr. Jones, we Christians send people out to tell of God's love in sending his son. Why do you instead want to advertise hate and nullify everything we stand for? If you won't listen to me, perhaps you can hear the words of Martin Luther King: "Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." Please, Mr. Jones, do not follow through on your plan to burn copies of the Quran.

Video Resume

2010-07-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

Here is the video resume I posted on Mycareeri.com. Employers can set up free accounts to search for my resume and many others.

______________________________

A Great Day.

2010-01-21T12:04:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was a great day.

It started in the morning. I got up and got out running. The weather was cool and damp but no rain. I felt good and ran faster than I had been. I got back to my home just as the rain started. Cool! But even better, while running, God changed my attitude about searching for a job. I worry a lot about getting a new job. I worry about the future, get depressed and then mope around and am too discouraged to do much. God affirmed that he will take care of me and my family. Even if we have no money and are on the street, he'll take care of us. I don't expect that -- he's always treated us way better than that. But whatever, the guarantee is that he'll take care of us. I need to let him handle the results and I need to focus on doing what I should every day.

Two quotes came to mind. The first is "Pray like it's up to God and work like it's up to me." Easy to say, hard to remember and do. The second is Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus shows how God takes care of the birds and flowers and says we are a lot more important than them. In particular, Matthew 6:33-34 "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

This all put me in a great mood. And I stayed in a great mood despite a couple of things. First, during my run I felt a twinge on the side of my right leg, just below the knee. When I got home it was mildly sore and I had to be careful to not bend too much. Discouraging, especially since I always talk about avoiding injury. But also ironic. Just Saturday in our beginning running group, Ruth mention she felt something on the side of her calf. I'd never heard of it before. Now I empathize.

Second, a little after I started up my computer I saw the Blue Screen of Death. Fortunately I got the computer restarted and was able to back up all my docs. And it has been OK since.

So, I got a little frustrated, but my mood alteration held and I left for my Wednesday job club (AVPPNG, a network club for job seekers) in high spirits. Our meeting was good. Part of the meeting was a presentation by an EDD person, Margie, about the WIA program, a program to help people get training they need. Many in our group had already applied and were asking what was going on with their applications. Margie explained many times how there were so many applications and so few workers, so many steps involved and why it took so long. Then she dropped a great quote, "Next week with the government is two or three months." In other words, what we'd normally expect in a week usually takes the government two or three months.

After the meeting four of us went out to lunch. We had a fun and encouraging time. Plus we had lots of stimulating conversation, including some good spiritually oriented discussions. One of the encouraging things was that the other three had good chances of landing jobs soon. I commented that I was the odd man out but they re-assured me that I was also the newbie (they'd all been at it a lot longer than me) and good things would come my way too.

After all that, I went to the Robolopes robot club at Antelope Valley High. This year's competition is building robots that play a form of soccer. I help with the software. It was a good time as usual, although we are currently at a roadblock.

When I got home, I got dinner and checked my email. About two weeks ago I had sent an email asking how my application for a flight test engineer at the Edwards Flight Test Center was doing. This is an application that I put in about four months ago (Margie's quote about government weeks became relevant in a new context). My email question and big concern was whether it had passed the human resources screening. It's not exactly my field and I was concerned (OK, worried!) that the HR people would just reject it outright. Yesterday, I got an answer. It had a lot of government speak that I didn't understand well, but it seemed to be saying I passed and my application was sent to the hiring managers.

In the evening we went to our usual Wednesday prayer meeting. Instead of being at church it was in the pastor's home. This made it warmer and cozier than normal on a cold rainy night. Plus lots of people showed up and we had a very good time -- lots of encouragement and uplifting interaction.

Of particular interest to me was that Sherman was there. Sherm is my contact at Edwards and the reason I applied for the job at the FTC. He helped me interpret my email (I'd printed it out hoping he'd be there). He confirmed that I'd "made the cert" and that my resume was now referred out to the hiring managers. YEAH! (Plus I'm not such an odd man out anymore!)

One slightly discouraging thing is that I'm one of 224 who made the cert. However, Sherm reassured me that usually half are no longer available. Plus that many applicants means there are a lot of jobs available -- even a hundred openings is not that big for a place as huge as Edwards. I sent him the email and he is going to ask his bosses what's happening. Plus Sherm had already introduced me to his big boss many months ago. He is one of the hiring managers and spoke to me about how they needed lots of experienced engineers and how they'd get me talking to lots of different people to see where I fit in. Now that I've made the cert I feel good about presenting all my skills and am excited about being able to talk with people out there. It's still a long way from having a job, but it's a huge, exciting step forward.

Well, that's my great day. Hallelujah and Praise God!

Computer Problems Solved

2009-08-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

This is too good to pass up. And it's true! Now you all know how to solve your computer problems on your own.

Interesting ... or Not.

2009-08-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

What's sad is that this fits me to a T.

Why I Use Filthy Language

2009-07-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

I'm a Christian. Why would I use filthy language? Like many other Christian testimonies, that of my brother-in-law tells of how when he became a Christian his language immediately cleaned up. Yet I now use worse language than I used to. What's wrong with me?

First off it's my opinion that the Bible really has nothing to say directly about using curse words and similarly colorful adjectives. We are commanded not to use the Lord's name “in vain”, but this refers to breaking oaths in God's name. The Bible even contains sexual puns and frank sexual language, including degrading sexual references. (They show up in the original language and are often sanitized in English translations.)

So I can just say whatever I want when I want? Not exactly. Let me tell my story.

I became a Christian in junior high. I was already shy and a goodie-two-shoes type of guy. I didn't use bad language. Several times I reported my younger brother's language to my parents and got him in trouble. I tried to be a good Christian.

Flash forward to my adult life. I became engaged in some addictive behavior. It caused a lot of problems for me and my family. I went into therapy and attended groups for many years working to manage my addiction. There a funny thing happened.

One thing I learned was that I was repressing my emotions. I didn't think much about stuff that happened when I was young. I needed to get that stuff out. I also stored up stuff that happened to me daily. I controlled myself until I couldn't take it any more. Then I blew up, usually at my wife and children. This was bad (DUH!) and it soon became apparent that anger was as big an issue as my addiction. Probably bigger.

I also realized that I had another problem. Despite believing in God's grace I often acted like a legalist. I judge myself and other by what I did. I held others up to my standard, compared myself to them and rationalized why I was better. This behavior was ingrained in my personality and was reinforced by my religious life. Over time God impressed on me that this was my biggest problem. It's what Jesus hated about the Pharisees. It's almost (not quite, but ever so close) like God told me and keeps telling me that he could care less how I behave. What he wants is me to be honest with him and others. To love him and others.

I took to swearing for a couple of reasons. I needed to express my anger in healthy ways. Swearing is a tremendous way to express anger. I try to not swear at people. I try to be mad, to let my anger out, to let people know how I'm feeling without blasting them. Swearing helps all this.

The second reason I swear is to fight legalism. It's still easy for me to play my little Christian game. To pretend to myself and others that I'm good and godly and holy. Throwing in some swear words instantly negates that perception.

So it's good that I swear and I should just let rip whenever, right? Wrong. As healthy as it may be for me there are many times it may hurt people around me. Work is one place where it can cause problems. I also try to watch what I say around children. And, despite appearances, I really do try to not offend people needlessly. I may let some words go to purposely rattle people, but I try not to do it too often.

All of this sounds like I've got the whole thing totally under control. That would be wrong too. I often swear because I'm mad (damn it!) and just let go. I'm imperfect and often say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I often need to apologize.

Finally I have sworn a couple of times during a sermon I was giving. I did it with careful consideration. George Patton was asked why he swore so much. He said it was so people would remember what he said. Often we Christians read and hear the same things over and over. Some are radical ideas that should shake us up but we've become immune. I've twice tried forms of swearing to make a point in a sermon stick. Did it work? People definitely remember that I swore. It's unclear if the point stuck or not.

That's where I am on swearing. It's helpful to me, but I try to watch it (I'm actually now trying to cut back a bit, to give my anger to God and let it go more easily.) It's not OK to say anything at any time, but I often violate protocol to remind myself and other Christians to lighten up a bit. Most of all, I'm far from perfect and so is my language, but the closer I can get to honestly and love the better off I am.

Electric Cars and Batteries

2009-06-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

The basic problem with electric cars is that the batteries are too big and take too long to charge. The Tesla Roadster motor is 70 lbs, has one moving part and is the size of a watermellon, yet it gives high-end sports car performance using a one speed transmission! The battery, however, weighs 1000 lbs. To say the least, that's a bit more than a full gas tank on an internal combustion car. The Roadster also takes about three hours to charge. That makes for a long pit stop. The Tesla Model S will improve on the charging time, getting it down to 45 minutes.

Clearly, if we had a battery that could charge in 5 minutes and was near the weight of a full gas tank, electric cars would be awesome. Even several hundred pound batteries with appropriate range and power output would be an improvement.

I have reason to hope that batteries will improve significantly in the next several years. I list my reasons below. They are basically taken from Wikipedia's article on lithium ion batteries, but I have read about many of them elsewhere.

The big problem with Li-ion batteries is that they have a high internal resistance, mostly due to electrode (anode and cathode) materials. This causes heat and energy loss. Tesla had to specifically design a cooling system for their Roadster battery pack to keep it safe. There are several proposals to address this problem.
In April 2006 researchers at MIT announced they could grow micro wires with viruses. This technology would improve Li-ion energy density by a factor of three (e.g the 1000 lb Roadster battery would only weigh 333 lbs). In April 2009 New Scientist reported that the MIT team succeeded in making a battery with their virus technology.
In June 2006 researchers in France produced nano-structured electrodes with several times the energy capacity of normal electrodes.
In September 2007 the University of Waterloo, Canada, developed a new cathode chemistry using fluorine. It would increase battery life and allow replacing lithium with cheaper and more stable sodium.
In November 2007 Subaru unveiled their G4e concept electric car with Li-ion batteries that have double the energy density of normal Li-ion batteries. In the lab the Subaru-type batteries have been shown to have three times the energy density of normal Li-ion batteries.
In December 2007 researchers at Stanford created a Li-ion battery with nanowires that had ten times the energy density of normal Li-ion batteries. They hope to commercialize their technology in five years. (If they could achieve this, the Roadster battery would only weigh 100 lbs!)

If some or all of these hit in the next few years, even in a decade or so, batteries will improve enough to make electric cars superior to gasoline cars. Plus our electric toys -- cell phones, computers, et al -- will get much better as well. I'm excited!

Progress?

2009-06-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

I found this funny, but it certainly has a black underside.

It's my belief that a big reason the iron curtain fell was because people finally were fed up with their dictators enough to rebel. It took a lot of courage, not to mention some pain and suffering (though a lot less that any of us would have guessed). I've prayed something similar would happen in countries like Iran. Despite (or because of) all the violence and pain, perhaps the unrest in Iran is the start of something good.

I hope so. And I'll keep praying.

How to Start Running

2009-06-05T09:15:00.001-07:00

I avoided running because I thought it would be too hard on my body. I'd hurt my knees. My feet would get messed up. My arthritic joints would suffer. Chaffing would get to me. It was just too much for someone my age and weight. Since I've started running I've never had most of these problems. The ones I have had have been minor and I've learned to deal with them.

What got me past my fears? I learned I could run slowly and easily.

In particular, I found the Couch to 5k plan. It provides a schedule for getting from sitting on the couch to being able to run 5k, which is about 3 miles. I liked this plan and it worked for me.

Perhaps, though, it looks too complicated for you. Carolina gave me a running book for my birthday, Master's Running by Hal Higdon. He has a Beginner's Running Guide online. On it he presents his very simple and easy 30/30 plan.

Both plans start with walking. You jog only as you are ready. You very slowly build up the length of your running. The emphasis is on doing what you are able to do consistently. You are not expected to run exhaustively nor "gut it out" nor kill yourself. In fact, such intense effort is counter productive because it leads to injury and burn-out.

There are several principles to remember when you start to run.

Go slow.
Run easily and do not push yourself.
Don't go too fast.
Ease into your running.
When you feel impatient and want to skip ahead, hold back. You'll get there in time.
If you have trouble moving to the next step, just repeat until you feel able. Don't be afraid to go back if the current step is too hard.
Don't compare yourself to others.

While it may not seem like much, you do slowly get better. Many times people are able to work up to a full marathon in less than a year. In my case I went from zero to a half marathon in a year. I was interupted by work, sickness, two children getting married and some other life circumstances. After each interruption I was able to pick back up and keep improving.

If you have never run or haven't run in a long time, I encourage you to try it. It's not my intent to disparage other types of exercise. Walking, biking, tennis, basketball, martial arts, yoga, dance and many others things are great. The main thing is to do something. I've done other things and still do, but I've found running to be great for me. Perhaps you'll find it good for you too, even it you didn't think it possible.

Why I Run.

2009-06-04T15:32:00.000-07:00

I took up running regularly a year ago. I ran my first half marathon Memorial Day. Why do I run?

There are lots of standard exercise reasons.

Better health.
Feel better.
Live longer.
Feel fit.
Feel younger.
Live to see and enjoy grandchildren (no kids, this is not a hint :-)
Relax and relieve stress.
Be fit enough to do things I enjoy like racquetball and hiking.

Specific reasons I run.

My son, Dan, and I are working on being in distance races. It's something we can do together even though we live a distance from each other.
Being able to run is satisfying. I now can just go out and run several miles without it being a big deal. That's cool.
Running does all the exercise stuff above, and it does most better or more efficiently.

I have rheumatoid arthritis. Before it got treated correctly I lost the ability to run. I could barely walk, especially in the morning. I once fell down in my apartment parking lot. There was no one around and nothing to grab onto. I barely made it back to my feet. My arthritis is now under control. But I haven't forgotten how it was. I feel like God's given my life back to me. I actually had to relearn to run. It wasn't that hard, but it was eye opening. I thank God and don't wish to throw his gift away.

The major reason I didn't run before last year is I figured I was too old and fat. I thought I'd hurt myself. I got over this because I found out how I could run slowly and build up mileage slowly. My first runs were basically short walks with very short jogs thrown in. I have been surprisingly injury free. I've been sore, but it's a good muscle sore. I twisted my ankle a few weeks ago because I stepped on a rock sideways, but it wasn't bad and healed quickly. I've had no injury related purely to running, which surprised me. In fact, running often makes me feel better. I ran a slow recovery run the day after my half marathon, and that actually made me feel better than just sitting around.

As an old fat guy I also worried about chaffing. How can I put this politely? Those of us with excess flab have parts that bounce when we run. Those parts can chaff against our clothes. I seem especially sensitive to it. It has bothered me many times. However, there are good products, like Body Glide which I use, that work miracles. This has not really been the problem I expected it to be thanks to modern technology.

Running can make my muscles sore. I already stretched when I exercised and since running I've had to learn to stretch even more regularly. Stretching is good for me anyway. It's almost essential if I want to run (or any kind of exercise). I've learn a little yoga and that has helped tremendously.

There are probably other reasons not to run but I find the positives far out-weigh any hassles. I enjoy running and look forward to running for many more years.

Tesla Model S

2009-06-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

Whipnotic Model S Video.

Model S Unveiled:

Model S Test Drive.

Electric Math

2009-05-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

The major flaw of electric cars is their lack of range. Top Gear dramatically demonstrates this in the above video. (Some would say they not only over-hyped the problem but actually mis-lead viewers about it.) Even as I've thought about how fun a Tesla Roadster would be, I realize it would not be practical for a long trip. An electric Smart car with an 80 mile range would be even worse and don't even think about one of the lesser models (some with a range of only 40 miles).

A few days ago I thought about range again and was surprised.

First the good news. Well over 90% of my wife and my driving is in town. Occasionally I make the 70 mile drive to work. Sometimes we make the also 70 mile drive to my sister's house in Apple Valley. We also make an up to 100 mile drive to visit family in LA and Orange County. For all of this an electric car with over a 100 mile range is actually more convenient than a gasoline vehicle. No need to go to a gas station -- just plug it in at night, while I'm working or while we're visiting.

Long trips are another problem. Having to stop and charge for several hours ruins the chance of making any significant mileage. One idea is I can just rent a car. I've often rented cars for vacations. Years ago it was because I owned cheap vehicles that were not that much fun to travel in and that I was afraid would break down. More recently I've rented because my car was too small to carry all the luggage or people coming on the trip. For an occasional traveler like me, this makes good sense. Why pay a premium (and the extra fuel costs) for a large car that I'll only need once or twice a year?

The thing I realized a few days ago is that Telsa's promised S Class changes the range problem. The S Class will have a range of 300 miles and can be charged in 45 minutes. It also will have quick-swappable battery (five minutes). And, by the way, it will have plenty of passenger and luggage storage capacity for a long trip.

Obviously if battery swap stations are available, there is no problem. A five-minute battery swap is as quick as a gasoline fill-up. But working out the kinks of battery swap stations any time soon (if ever) seems highly unlikely.

How will a long trip work with charging? From our house to Arcata, where our daughter Ruth lives, is 660 miles. It's about 12 hours counting our relatively quick stops. We get gas, take bathroom breaks and get our food to go. With a 300 mile range S Class, we would have to stop at one of the scattered places south of Stockton. They're sparse, but exist. We have stopped in the area many times because we have about the same range in our current car, a Scion xB. Instead of a 20 minute food-to-go break, we'd have to stop for about 50 minutes. I assume we could leave the car charging while we get something to eat nearby.

Since Arcta is 660 miles we need another stop to refuel. Humans usually need another stop too. Willits is a good place. The way we go it's about 230 miles more. That means we'd have about 70 miles left in the "tank". From Willits to Arcata is another 145 miles, so we'd only need a small charge, say another 80 miles. 80 miles of charge should take less than 15 minutes. (A full, 300mi, charge takes 45 min. 45min * 80/300 = 12min. I rounded up). By leaving the car charging while we pick up snacks and visit the restroom we can probably get away with our normal 20 min stop.

That means the only slow-down is our first longer stop, which adds 30 minutes to our travel time. The trip becomes 12 1/2 hours instead of a 12. The extra half-hour is spent sitting down to eat rather than juggling food in the car, not a bad trade, especially for the driver. Is losing a half-hour good? Of course not. But it's not that terrible.

But what about longer trips? There's no way you can go across the country, right? Yes, I'll admit that if you want to drive non-stop, pound out 900 or 1000 mile (or more) days the S Class will slow you down. But for me, that's a bit insane. 600 to 700 miles a day is more than enough driving for me. I prefer to rest and start again the next day.

Conclusion? Range is still a problem, but for me it becomes a small problem not a large one. I realize I can live with the S Class as my primary car. In fact, most of the time it would make my life easier than a gasoline powered car.

Life happens

2009-05-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Am I blessed or cursed?

My son, Dan, and I plan to run a half-marathon Monday (Memorial Day). He ran in high school and college. He's run lots of races. He runs fast. I have run only a few races in my life and this is the first I've trained for. I run slow. The race will be the longest I've ever run. To say the least, I'm nervous about it.

To get ready for a race we try to build up mileage and speed and then taper off right before the race. Mostly I've been surprised at how well I've done at running. However, I got sick right near the top of my build up a few weeks ago. Oh well, I'll run even slower. Now I'm in the taper off phase.

This last weekend we went to Arcata to see our daughter Ruth graduate from Humboldt. It was beautiful up there, the graduation was great and we had an awesome trip. My wife, Carolina, and I went with her sister, Rebecca, our other daughter, Sarah, and Sarah's husband, Austin. We arrived Thursday night.

Rebecca and I got up early Friday and went for a hike. I wanted to run as well. We hiked for a while and found a logging road into the woods. It was cool and beautiful, perfect for a hike or run. I took off running and had probably the most enjoyable run of my life. Quiet, perfect temperature, lush and beautiful. I felt great. Near the end of my run I was just cruising and enjoying the scenery. My left foot hit the side of a rock and twisted. No pain, but I felt blood rush in. I kept running because it didn't seem to hurt it -- the stretched part did not seem affected by my running.

After the run and hike back, my foot hurt some. I was disappointed and scared. Disappointed because I wanted to run again in the beautiful forest and now it looked like I couldn't. Scared because I thought my ankle might keep me out of the race. I iced it and wrapped it and it got better in a few days, but I did miss out on another run in the beautiful north.

We enjoyed the rest of the trip and made it home safely. I was able to run Tuesday with no problem. I avoided racquetball yesterday as a precaution.

Last night I was watching TV when my right eye started hurting. I've had something called Iritis a few times. It's an inflammation of the eye that can really hurt and needs a doctor's treatment. My eye looked and felt like I was getting Iritis again. I got depressed and cursed myself for staying up too late and treating my eye harshly. This also could affect my ability to run -- when it's bad I need to avoid sunlight and it's hard to see.

This morning it wasn't much better. I began praying a lot. Carolina had some eye drops she let me use and they seem to help a bit. After sleeping on the bus to work my eye was still sore but better. Thanks God! I was trying to be nice to it and was using only my left eye. After getting off the bus I walked across the street to work. At the far curb I tripped and almost fell. There was some kind of metal ring on the ground, about 18 inches in diameter. I managed to step on it with my right foot and in it and trip with my left foot. I stretched many of the same stuff I had twisted on Friday. Again no real hurt, but also it felt wrong.

I went running at lunch as planned. I figured I could stop if it started bothering me. It went well, but I can feel tenderness.

Am I cursed? I haven't tweaked my ankles for years. Iritis has not bothered me also for years. What are the odds I'd tweak my ankle twice, especially since today required me not seeing well, a ring right where I was walking, me stepping on it with one foot and in it with the other. Does God hate me? Does he want me to not run? With all this plus my arthritis, low thyroid, recent Carpel Tunnel Syndrome and normal aches and pains I feel like I'm falling apart. In many ways I'm in the best shape of my life, yet I can hardly keep up with my degrading body.

No, I'm not cursed. God never said it would be easy. If I can't run it's not the end of the world. More probably I'll be able to run, I just need to work through my issues and deal with problems as they arise.

In fact, I'm very blessed. Just being able to run is a blessing -- so many people can't. I have a great family, great friends and a great job. God loves me. These little worries are minor. I need to stay focused on what really matters.

Tesla and Daimler

2009-05-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

I've blogged about the Tesla's Roadster. I recently Twittered about how my next car could be electric -- I realized Tesla could make an affordable and useable car by 2014. Yesterday the outlook got even better. Tesla and Daimler announced that they are colaborating and Daimler invested in Tesla.

Why is this good news? First, even though they don't mention it, it gives Tesla more capital. Daimler now has a 10% share of Tesla, which has got to be a good chunk of change. Probably more than that, having Daimler behind them gives Tesla a tremendous boost in credibility, which can only help when Tesla seeks funding.

A second benefit Daimler brings is the renown Mercedes engineering. Daimler's expertise should help Tesla produce high quality vehicles. It should also help them bring cars to market more quickly and efficiently.

A third benefit is that we may see quality electric vehicles sooner than expected. Daimler has already produced the innovative and inexpensive Smart Car. They are working on an electric Smart. They plan to use Teslaa's battery technology to bring the electric drive (ED) Smart out at the end of this year. The plan is to use Tesla's battery until their own battery is up-to-speed in a couple of years. (Meanwhile Tesla and Daimler will share battery technology to improve both their products.)

The ED Smart will go 70mph and get about 80 miles on a charge. That's not great but better than most. It also makes it highway capable. For example, it would definitely get me all over the Antelope Valley where I live and it would probably allow me to make the 70 mile one-way commute to Woodland Hills where I work. I would expect to see the ED Smart numbers improve as batteries improve.

Current U.S. Smart prices start under $12k. Even with an ED premium that should mean the ED Smart will be under $20k, hopefully under $15k. That would make them very affordable.

Cheap, usable electric cars in a year or two. That would be impressive!

Why Swine Flu Hype is a Good Thing

2009-05-12T16:37:00.000-07:00

Swine flu has scared billions and killed, uh, tens. (In Mexico 58, in the U.S. five) Meanwhile normal flu kills about 36,000 every year in the U.S. alone. So swine flu is well hyped.

Why is this good? Carolina and I normally go somewhere on our anniversary. Twice, on our special 20th and 25th we saved enough to go on cruises. This year we were going to go to Vegas for four days. With the swine flu scare we can now go on a five-day cruise for about the same price. Woohoo! Party in Cabo!

Discussing beliefs at work.

2009-04-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

I wish I had something clever to add, but Scott Meyer says it all.

Dazed and confused.

2009-04-15T09:18:00.000-07:00

Last post I was all excited about how Facebook would pick up my blogs. Now I'm just dazed and confused. I went through the procedure and my last three posts showed up on my wall. Maybe, if I navigate to my wall correctly. My last post (about Facebook) never showed up. I now have no idea what the heck Facebook is doing. Oh well.

Facebook and Blog

2009-04-09T16:47:00.000-07:00

I found out how to get my blog to post on Facebook. I looked at my wall and it worked.

Here's how to do it. Go to your wall. Just below the "What's on you mind?" box is a row that says "Eric+Friends Just Eric Just Friends" (of course your wall will use your name, not mine). On the right of that line is a Setting button. Push the Setting button.

It should look something like this.

Pick "Blog/RSS". It then asks you to enter the address of your blog.

Now your wall should shows your blog posts as if they were status from you. Go to my profile to see how it works.

Remata is out!

2009-01-22T08:33:00.000-08:00

My flashcard program, Remata, is now out and available.

On and off for the past few years I've worked on a flashcard program to help with my Greek studies. I found a spreadsheet which I upgraded for my own needs. Problem was that I couldn't carry a computer in my pocket and my PDA could not handle the spreadsheet macros. I thought of writing a windows application, but learning all that stuff is complex. I made a web based program, but my PDA browser could not handle the web code either.

Finally, in October, I heard about the new Android operating system for phones. I was looking for a new phone and PDA and bought the T-mobile G1. I also learned that Android was open and that is was relatively easy to write programs for Android. I've been working on my program since then. You can check it out in the Android Market or look at it's web page.

I'm excited -- the first program of my own that's gone commercial. Already people have downloaded it, commented and I've even received a donation!

God's Speed, Mr. President

2009-01-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

My wife intently watched the inauguration and all the associated hoopla. I, on the other hand, am not that interested. I did, however, make an effort to catch Barack Obama's speech. I wanted to hear what he had to say. I liked it -- I hope we can come close to living up to what he called us to.

In the months since his election I've come to realize something. I voted for McCain. I saw things I liked about both candidates and also things that scared me. McCain seemed to me to have less downside. I missed something huge -- hope. Obama has energized this country with hope. Hope can be a powerful force for good.

I am somewhat cynical. I believe even the "most powerful man on earth" is limited in what he can do. The government machine is too big. Perhaps even more, the inertia of people is massive. It really doesn't matter how brilliant our president is, nor how good his ideas, nor how hard he works if we people are not behind him. I'm now thinking that's probably the biggest reason Reagan was so effective. Perhaps FDR too, although that was before my time. It seems like Obama comes in with this same ability to instill hope in a large portion of our population.

I came away from Tuesday's events encouraged. Encouraged by what Obama said. Encouraged by the huge turnout. Encouraged by the hope he seems to have instilled. I pray that he and the rest of us can live up to the promise.

Intolerance and ignorance? Or love?

2009-01-09T08:18:00.000-08:00

Intolerance:

Ignorance:

Despite the ignorance, smart enough to appeal to American sensibilities.

So the Prophet Muhammad is the father of civil rights? This is the same guy who wants everyone that disagrees with him to be butchered and beheaded and wants to kill all the "Juice"? Obviously these people don't know English very well. Not only to they not know the word "juice", they also don't have a very good handle on the meanings of "civil right", "truth", "justice" and "love".

Perhaps they should read something other than the Qur’an once in a while. How about the Bible? Last time I checked it is supposed to be a holy book for them. Matthew 5 comes to mind. Here is an exerpt starting at verse 43:

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I'm also reminded of 1 John, Chapter 4, verses 7 - 11:

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Cat humor

2008-12-16T14:53:00.000-08:00

I found these funny. Hope you do too.

Who can we trust?

2008-12-11T10:39:00.000-08:00

Socialism: Believing in the government to control evil corporations. Yeah, right. See above.

Capitalism: Believing in coporations to fairly compete and lead us to a better world. Not so likely either given recent news -- see my last post.

Anarchy: Believing we should govern ourselves. They often say "If man is unfit to govern himself then he's unfit to govern others." That's a cute saying, but ever see how it works out in practice? Study a little history and you see that it's a bad idea. I like minimal goverment but let's not forget our need for police, etc.

Truth is we all have problems. There's no one we can really trust. Maybe now's a good time to just believe in God.

Bailout

2008-12-11T08:40:00.000-08:00

From The Beast.

Old Complaints

2008-10-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

"I'm very pleased with each advancing year. It stems back to when I was forty. I was a bit upset about reaching that milestone, but an older friend consoled me. 'Don't complain about growing old - many, many people do not have that privilege." -- Earl Warren, Chief Justice

There's lots of calamity these days. Lots to complain about. Those of us born a little farther from the apocalypse like to complain about growing old. After all, the best we can do is prolong our short life a bit before we inevitably die like everyone else.

I went for my annual physical this week. (Sorry "Health Evaluation" as the nurse now called it. "A physical is something ordered by your job.") I'm fine, thanks. Another nurse walked by while I was being measured (blood pressure, pulse, etc.) She had just gotten back from Addis Ababa. She talked about how third world it was and how she would complain a lot less now. I had a similar experience traveling to Nairobi many years ago.

It's not that complaining is so bad. We should get our bad feelings out and off our chest. Perhaps, though, we could also spend a little more time looking at our blessings and remembering to thank God for them.

Putting on a Show.

2008-08-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

China really put on a show at the Olympics opening ceremony. Obviously it took a lot of practice and hard work. Apparently it took somewhat more than that according to this article on Sports Illustrated's website. I'm not taking about the fake CGI fireworks or the lip-synching 9-year old girl. I'm talking about what the performers were subjected to. The director of the show, Zhang Yimou, had a couple of particularly telling quotes. First he talks about how they work hard.

North Korea is No. 1 in the world when it comes to uniformity. They are uniform beyond belief! These kind of traditional synchronized movements result in a sense of beauty. We Chinese are able to achieve this as well. Through hard training and strict discipline.

Then he talks about how difficult it was to work on an opera in the West.

In one week, we could only work four and a half days, we had to have coffee breaks twice a day, couldn't go into overtime and just a little discomfort was not allowed because of human rights ... You could not criticize them either. They all belong to some organizations ... they have all kind of institutions, unions. We do not have that. We can work very hard, can withstand lots of bitterness. We can achieve in one week what they can achieve in two months.

The western opera company could not handle a "little discomfort." By "little discomfort" does he means the heat exhaustion and injuries that were suffered for the Olympic performance? Does he mean they actually wanted food once in a while? What about the "lots of bitterness?" Perhaps it refers to one rehearsal that was 51 hours long with almost no breaks. Perhaps it was the adult diapers that printing press performers had to wear. Perhaps it refers to the practical imprisonment of the performers for three months at a military base. Yep just get rid of those pesky unions and silly human rights and you can put on a real show. Like they do in North Korea. It's so good to know that China aspires to such heights.

Ironic how much human right abuse it took to get us to enjoy the show and overlook China's other human rights abuses. Yep, China really put on a show.

Eye Opening

2008-08-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

I heard Nonie Darwish speak yesterday at a local Jewish temple. She gave a fascinating talk. She is from Egypt, grew up Muslim and lived on the Gaza strip when her father was sent there to head up fedayeen terror attacks on Israel. Her father was assassinated by Israeli Defense Forces when she was eight because of his position. She personally has seen how Muslim countries oppress the Palestinians and how Muslim jihad ideology is forced upon all members of these countries. She says the idea of conversion by force and lying about such intentions is at the heart of Islam and encourages all of us to stand up against it. You can learn more about her on wikipedia or visit her website. She also has a book Now they Call Me Infidel; Why I Renounced Jihad for America, Israel and the War on Terror.

I like to believe there are moderate Muslims and that the jihadists are in the minority. I do not believe in hating any people. I am sure that Muslims and Arabs, like all people, have a lot of good in them. I have a boss who is also from Egypt and is a practicing Muslim. He is a good guy. I believe some of the measures Ms. Darwish called for at the end of the meeting -- such as changing our constitution to prohibit Sharia Law -- are too extreme and would be unworkable.

However, whenever I receive direct evidence it seems to agree with what Ms. Darwish is saying. If there are Muslim moderates and they are the majority where is their outcry against terror? Is it possible to follow the Qur’an and not believe in violent conversion? Why does the Qur’an have so much to say about killing and violence and so little about love and mercy? Is moderate Islam only a fiction to allow them to infiltrate the West?

I want to believe in peace and moderation and negotiation. I do believe that God is love, that Jesus preached love and that love will eventually win out. But I will not remain willfully ignorant nor sit idly by while a major threat builds against myself, my family, my country and the beliefs I deeply cherish. I will go to war if that's what it takes.

Muslim leaders please show me wrong. Please stand up against terror. Please lead your people away from jihad. Please help the Palestinians and stop blowing up people, especially in Israel.

If not, if what you really want is war, we'll give it to you. You do realize, don't you, that you still exist because of our kindness and restraint? If we really wanted you dead it would only take a small fraction of our nuclear arsenal to send your countries back to the 7th century. Trust me on this: if needed we'll be more than happy to send you to your reward.

Speaking of Ignorance ...

2008-08-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

For those of us who know anything at all about computers this falls under the "You've got to be kidding me" category. I hadn't heard about it until I saw the comic. I'm speechless.

Ignorance, Sasquatch and Evolution.

2008-08-15T11:56:00.000-07:00

"Your ignorance may be bliss for you but to me it's like fingernails on a chalk board." My thought today as I listened to the radio.

I was listening to the radio as I was driving to the doctor this morning. (I'm OK. Thanks for asking.) The morning show hosts were talking about today's report of finding a Sasquatch body. (It's the first I heard of it.) The hosts were complaining that there's supposed to be a news conference but no one was saying when or where it will be. Then their conversation went something like this:

First host: "Why are we even talking about this? It's not news. I mean if Sasquatch were to stop the war in the Middle East or something ... "

Second host: "Oh yes, it's news. If they find Sasquatch, well, uh, it's like the missing link."

First, what a stupid comment about whether or not finding Sasquatch is news. Of course it is. I personally don't believe Sasquatch really exists. The reports are very sketchy and it seems unlikely a creature like that could remain hidden. However, I'm open to new evidence. Finding such a creature would be very interesting.

The second host's comment is far worse. I just finished a leading a small group at church on the subject of science and the Bible. Basically the Bible tells us what God does, not how things are done. Science is more concerned with how things are done. Unfortunately we Christians have some bad history of reacting negatively to science. Currently there is a huge movement against evolution and the idea that the earth is billions of years old. I used to be part of it. However, I've come to realize that it is full of ignorance and does not look at the facts clearly. I've blogged about related issues before and discussed issues like this in the "Science and the Bible" small group.

One of the areas of ignorance about evolution has to do with missing links. Yes, evolution says that there were species similar to but slightly different from those we see today. It says man and chimpanzees are closely related and that they had a common ancestor about 10 million years ago. At first glance it seems reasonable to assume that we should find the missing or transitional forms between that common ancestor and modern chimps and modern humans. However it is also true that since these ancestors lived in the past the only real way to "find" them is to find fossils. Fossils only can be produced under special conditions and they are rare and hard to find.

What does this all mean? First, there was not just one "missing link". There were many different related species, some of which are our direct ancestors, some cousins, some uncles, etc. To assume we need to find that one, special missing link is very misinformed. Christians make this mistake a lot and apparently we are not alone. Second many "links" have been found. Of course not all have been found. It's unrealistic to expect to find every transitional form.

I suppose it's possible that Sasquatch is a closer relative to human than any other creature. That indeed would be an interesting and mind blowing discovery. But finding such a creature would not automatically prove evolution and change the world. The evidence for evolution is already massive. People who chose to ignore it will probably still find an excuse to ignore Sasquatch evidence as well.

What's grating to me is so many people confidently assert facts that they really don't know. It's especially bad when we Christians (who are supposed to be set free by the truth) do it. I don't mind ignorance as such. If you don't care about science and don't want to spend the time to know about it, no problem. If you don't wish to study your Bible in depth, OK. But don't make huge claims about stuff you don't really know.

So why the picture of the dinosaur? Young earth creationists (YEC) like to point out Job 40:15-18 as referring to dinosaurs. The pictured dinosaur has become part of a YEC museum. Here is Job 40:15-17:

Look at the behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox. What strength he has in his loins, what power in the muscles of his belly! His tail sways like a cedar; the sinews of his thighs are close-knit.

They especially point out that what else but a dinosaur could have a tail "like a cedar." However, the word for tail is a euphemism. Stephen Mitchell suggests this translation.

Look now: the Beast I made: he eats grass like a bull. Look: the power in his thighs, the pulsing sinews of his belly. His penis stiffens like a pine; his testicles bulge with vigor.

Not exactly a dinosaur tail! Perhaps not all ignorance is grating. Some is downright amusing.

Oh Joy

2008-06-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

"Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens." Epictetus

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

Last night my son, Dan, came home. Not unusual, but he lives in Yorba Linda and normally works Friday in Long Beach so it's not so usual on a Thursday. Dan was depressed. He lost his job.

I got depressed -- it hit me harder than I thought it would. Dan already had lots of financial hits with his car. He's getting married in two months. He didn't need this. I felt afraid and angry and depressed.

My oldest daughter, Sarah, has been going through a very weird housing situation. She signed a year lease with three roommates on a nice house. The roommates have become very flaky. My daughter had to pay the entire rent in June. She got a restraining order against one of them, who had been a very good friend for over a year, because she threatened her life. Sarah's finally out of the house, but her living situation is very uncertain and she may still be liable for all or part of the lease.

I live with rheumatoid arthritis. My wife has various on-going health issues.

We are good friends with a couple at our church -- we've known them since college. Their children grew up with our children and are best friends. One of their daughters suddenly had seizures a few weeks ago. They found blood in her brain from a congenital tangled vein that began bleeding. They also found an aneurysm. She needs surgery and is bed ridden all summer. At least she's alive and we have modern medicine to fix her up. (She wrote about this on her blog)

Another lady at church had a brain tumor. Fortunately it was benign and got removed OK. She is having a slow recovery. A teenager at church has numbness in her legs -- she can't feel a thing. It now has gone away as mysteriously as it came. Our church can't afford to fix the parsonage air conditioning so our pastor and his wife suffer while temperatures sky rocket. A couple of years ago we had three young people associated with our church died within a short time span. People have left, making our small church even smaller. The simple fact that our church is falling behind in our bills seems trivial compared to the real-life drama.

What is going on? Are we screwing up? Is it time to cash in?

Well, giving up on church won't really solve anything. It won't find a job for my son nor fix anyone's health. Obviously we need to be alert to any changes God is asking of us. However, we've been doing that for quite some time and it hasn't stopped bad things from happening, nor should it.

Epicetus has good advice, but it's often hard for me to follow. It did help me just to read his quote. The help in Philippians 4:6 is even better. I know God is here and praying is good. There's someone out there watching over me, my family and my friends. That's comforting.

The rejoicing mentioned by Paul in Romans and by James is harder. Sometimes I suppress stuff and just pretend to be OK. That not healthy and can't be what they mean. Somehow I need to accept the awfulness of stuff, grieve over it and still rejoice in God. What's cool is knowing how much he loves me and wants me to grow into a better person. It's still pretty hard to rejoice.

God takes care of me, comforts me and loves me. Same for my family and friends. He ultimately has good plans. We're all going to grow from this. Right now, though, it hurts a lot.

The Rabbit Hole

2008-04-30T08:07:00.000-07:00

"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." -Abraham Lincoln

Really? Don't we Christians spend our lives trying to get rid of our vices? Maybe Mr. Lincoln is wrong. Or maybe we're missing the point.

So, we have two startling ideas

Robin's premise that worldliness is setting rules and ignoring God's grace. It has nothing to do with so-called morality.
Lincoln's assertion that no vices means very little virtue.

What then? Should we sin that grace may abound? No way, as Paul rightly answers.

We do need to carefully digest what God really wants. We need to realize that God does not care much for rules. That he doesn't care much about our little vices. He does care that we believe in him and live for him and live in a relationship with him. That's so much better, yet so much scarier. It's easier to ignore God and follow rules. When we have a relationship with God we actually have to treat him like a person. We need to let him into our lives. We need to be intimate with God, share with him and allow him to share with us. We need to know him and so know ourselves.

It's like the choice Morpheus offers Neo. Take the red pill. Find out the real truth. Experience how deep the rabbit hole of God's love is. Bend our minds around how different our lives will become. Or take the blue pill. Just follow the rules and fit in. Be religious, anal, bland and safe. Impress friends and neighbors with how good of Christians we are.

Red pill anyone?

Worldliness is not what you think it is

2008-04-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

Robin has a great post about worldliness. I've had thoughts like this for a while, but as usual he has a very complete biblical point-of-view and expressed it much more clearly than I could.

Tesla in production

2008-04-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

These two videos show a sports car accelerating from a stop. They show fantastic acceleration. But there's also something wrong -- do you notice it? Hint: make sure your computer sound is on.

Did you notice? No engine roar! This is the new electric sports car from Tesla Motors. Tesla claims 0-60 in under 4 seconds, and Motor Trend, AutoWeek and Road & Track seem to agree. Since it's electric there's no gasoline roar and full torque at zero rpm. Awesome!

Allyson Felix again

2008-04-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

This LA Times article gives another reason to applaud Allyson Felix.

Athlete

2008-04-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Some awesome technology from JPL.

Also check out this article on space.com.

More Josh Billings

2008-04-08T10:04:00.001-07:00

As a result of reading wikipedia about Josh Billings while writing my last post I found another quote I really like. "As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."

Jesus said we will know the truth and the truth will set us free. The problem is we religiously avoid truth. The Gospel of John makes this clear when it talks about light and darkness.

Uniformed

2008-04-08T09:32:00.001-07:00

"If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. " Mark Twain

Mostly I chose to be uniformed. Maybe I just want to stay happy.

Josh Billings, a humorist who was second in popularity to Twain during the back half of the 19th century, has a quote that is one of my all-time favorites and I have in my office. "The trouble with most folks isn't so much their ignorance. It's know'n so many things that ain't so."

Put these two quotes together and you know why I rarely read the newspaper or listen to any other form of so-called news.

-------------------

For the record: I looked at the wikipedia article on Josh Billings and learned something about him. I also saw many other good quotes. My favorite quote was there, but it was phrased this way: "It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so." Not sure what's right but they say the same thing -- perhaps he said it both ways.

The age of the earth is not an article of faith.

2008-03-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

Historical Christianity has a core. There are central beliefs often called "articles of faith." Don's blogs about Good Friday and Jesus' resurrection describe well much of the core of Christianity.

Carolina and I were at a friend's house for Easter where one of the guests and I got in a discussion about the age of the earth. I believe the earth is billions of years old. He believes it's not because the Bible, specifically Genesis 1, says it's not. He made a comment to the effect that once you let go of one part of what the Bible says you open the door to losing our entire faith.

The problem is that he thought I was saying we should treat the Genesis 1 creation account as just a story or a fabrication. But that's not what I was saying. I believe Genesis 1 tells us that God created the heavens and the earth. It adds details about what he created, I believe, to show that God created everything. This is in contrast to the common belief of the time that there were many gods, each of which had a different area of responsibility. The land of Egypt, where the Israelites were coming from not only believed in many gods, they barely even had common gods they agreed on across regions of the country. Likewise Canaan, the land the Israelites were going into, believed in many regional gods. Despite many biblical passages and God's direct intervention in their history, the people of Israel continued to believe in multiple gods until the time of the Babylonian captivity in the sixth century B.C.E.

The author of Genesis boldly counters the many-god idea. Belief in gods of the sun and moon was common. Genesis says the one God, Yahweh, created both. Belief in gods of the sea and land was also common. "No," says Genesis, the same God created them too. He also created the birds, fish and animals. Finally he created humans and he created them in his own image!

I believe there is a clear outline structure in Genesis 1.

God Created Everything (Genesis 1:1 - 2:3)

1. Overview (1:1-2):

God created the heavens and the earth (1:1).
The earth was formless and empty (1:2).

2. God formed the heavens and earth (1:3-13)

Day 1: God formed day and night (1:3-5).
Day 2: God formed sky and seas (1:6-8).
Day 3: God formed dry land (1:9-13).

3. God filled the heavens and earth (1:14-2:3).

Day 4: God filled day and night (1:14-19).
Day 5: God filled sky and seas (1:20-23).
Day 6: God filled dry land (1:23-1:31).

4. God rested on the seventh day (2:1-3).

There is repetition which is common in the Hebrew Bible. There is special focus on dry land and the creation of people in God's image since the Bible's focus is on people. This focus is expanded even more in the rest of Genesis 2. However, the outline structure is still very clear.

I believe it's not only possible but common in Hebrew for "day" to refer to something other than a 24-hour day. I believe any attempt to make day mean a 24-hour period in Genesis 1 does not make sense. (How do we have a 24-hour day on Days 1-3 when the sun is not even created?) In fact I think any attempt to assign a chronology to Genesis 1 does not make sense. How can we have thousands of years or even 72 hours without a sun and moon? Thus to me it is clearly not a statement of linear time. Combine this with the multi-god issue which was the main problem for the Israelites and to me it's clear that God's intention was not creation methodology or time sequencing but instead was to emphasize that he alone created everything (and that he views humans as very special).

This does not "open the door" to disregarding the Bible or treating it's factual statements as anything besides truth. I believe it does capture how the passage would have been understood by the people it was written for.

In our discussion yesterday I did bring up the need to interpret the Bible in it's historical and cultural context. The person I was talking with thought that wasn't necessary because God wrote the Bible, which means we all can relate to it independent of our culture or language. This to me is a much more dangerous view which opens the Bible up to personal interpretations and whims and does more to ignore God than any belief in modern science.

Finally, I must put our discussion a little more into context:

I don't believe my discussion partner would carry his statement about not needing to know historical and cultural context to its logical extreme and just accept any body's whim about the Bible.
I'm the one who brought up the age of the earth knowing that it would provoke a discussion.
We both backed away from our discussion rather than turn it into an irresolvable fight and tacitly agreed to disagree. We later did the dishes together and were able to talk of other things pleasantly.

Getting Bombed

2008-02-12T15:57:00.000-08:00

This from News of the Weird (Feb 10, 2008):

It is apparently becoming more difficult to recruit competent suicide bombers in Afghanistan because twice in a two-day period in January, clumsy bombers accidentally blew themselves up before they ever had the chance to take their targets out. One fell down a flight of stairs while on his way to an attack in the town of Khost, and the other's bomb accidentally exploded as he was getting dressed for an assignment in the town of Lashkar Gah (although the latter bomber did take three colleagues with him). [Agence France-Presse, 1-24-08]

Real Programmers

2008-02-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

Some comments:

Yes, I know I've used xkcd a lot. I don't care. I like it, it's my blog, and I can't draw like some of my more creative friends and family members.
I also know you probably don't get it. See Comment #1 minus the drawing stuff.
OK, I'll relent a bit. Perhaps this will help you non-programmers. Nano is a text editor, which is like a word processor for writing code. Emacs preceded it and is harder to use. Likewise vim and ed. In theory it's possible to edit with cat, but very hard (I've done it for short files). A magnetized needle used very precisely could edit the bits on a disk. Finally, Emacs has a bazillion commands and you can never learn all of them. (The very clever user can edit and even add to them.) The esoteric commands tend to look like C-x M-c M-whatever.
xkcd taught me a trick for web images. You can use the title attribute to show a message when someone mouses over an image. Try it on the comic above.
If you can't see all the title text, it reads "Real programmers set the universal constants at the start such that the universe evolves to contain the disk with the data they want."
Not only is the title text funny, but it coincides with something I've thought of and never heard anyone else espouse. People say evolution takes God out of creation. I'm a programmer. I always want to write a program to solve a problem instead of figuring it out myself, even if the program takes longer. (It usually does, but then if something needs to be done a thousand times I win.) I figure God took the elegant method and programmed the universe rather than just building it.

Explorer and JPL

2008-01-31T12:32:00.001-08:00

Saw on the news last night and got an email from JPL about Explorer. Today is it's fiftieth anniversary. Sputnik was first, but it didn't do anything except it's famous "beep." Explorer was actually the first scientific satellite. Data it collected led to the discovery of the Van Allen radiation belts around the earth.

Sick

2008-01-29T12:17:00.000-08:00

The last five days I've had the flu. It wasn't horrible, but it's worst I've been sick since taking flu shots the last 5 years. I didn't do much besides sleep and watch TV. Worked at the computer a little but thinking was hard. I'm back at work now but not yet 100%. I was already behind on my email and such, now I'm even more so. I'll try to catch up as I feel up to it.

Light and Darkness

2008-01-23T08:31:00.000-08:00

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. He was with God at the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." John 1:1-5

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:19-21

"The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light." Romans 13:12.

Nerdy Obsession

2008-01-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

Here but for the grace of God go I. Oh heck, despite God's grace I go here anyway.

FuchsAuto Zwei

2007-12-18T08:36:00.000-08:00

Our VW Fox is dead but apparently VW still makes a Fox. Last night I saw it reviewed on Top Gear. Here is the video. You may find the first couple of minutes of review boring. If so, skip ahead -- it ends with a soccer match you have to see to believe.

A True Urban Legend!

2007-12-13T10:08:00.000-08:00

I've become quite adept at detecting urban legend emails. There are enough of them. Testing them is really simple. Go to snopes and search for a key word or phrase in the email.

Today, my mom sent an email about a large flower flag near Vandenberg Air Force base. It had all the earmarks of an urban legend. It is on snopes. But, surprise, it's true!

Bodger Seeds Ltd in Lompoc, CA made the flag for the flag day celebration, June 14, 2002. The city has the satellite photo shown here and an info page. It's probably not a year-round thing as indicated by this google satellite photo.

So instead of an urban legend I received a nice dose of heart-warming patriotism. And I got to be a web geek and do some satisfying research. Thanks, Mom, for making my day better.

Nerds Beware.

2007-12-12T08:44:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, I feel scared. Especially since mathematicians are worth more than physicists.

Changes.

2007-12-10T09:08:00.000-08:00

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -- Leo Tolstoy

I couldn't pass up this quote. I'm not sure exactly what to blog about. I'll probably be repeating myself.

I could talk about how many of us parents try to change our children (in my case young adults) by talking at them or yelling them rather than by setting a good example and letting them follow. Sometimes they will be smart enough to think "OK, I know dad's being a hypocrite, but what he's saying is true, so I'll follow it." Most of the time they are only smart enough to think "Dad's being a hypocrite again. I'll just ignore him until he goes away."

I could talk about all the Christians who rail against a certain sin only to find out they secretly are addicted to that sin. Do I need to name names? I didn't think so.

It's not just Christians and parents. We're all better at seeing other people's faults than we are our own.

Is wanting to change the world wrong? Of course not, there's a lot that needs changing. Do we need to be perfect before we can affect the world? No way -- just take a quick look at history. Even Biblical heroes had a lot of flaws.

How about this for a plan? If you see something that needs changing, first ask God what he'd like you to change about yourself in this area. You might be surprised how effective it is. Jesus was the God-man who came to save the world. He changed the world, especially the Western European world. Yet, as far as we know, he never left Palestine during his adult life. We could learn a lot from his example.

Nut Job 3

2007-12-09T08:46:00.000-08:00

My brother, Ted, sent me this picture from the New Yorker. Seems I'm not the only one who sees Ahmadinejad's same sex tendencies.

I'm having trouble finding the quote. Was it John Cleese who said something about those who don't get much sex are those most obsessed with it -- either they dwell on it all the time or rail against it? It's not my job to psychoanalyze Ahmadinejad or his cronies. But if they weren't so uptight about sex and practically every other little thing maybe they'd stop blowing themselves up so much.

A Day that Will Live in Infamy

2007-12-07T08:47:00.001-08:00

December 7, 1941 is a day that lives in infamy. Why should it now that 66 years have gone by? Aren't we just being bitter?

I don't think it's bitterness. I certainly hold no bitterness toward the Japanese people nor the nation of Japan. Neither do I sense a lot of that around me. I firmly believe we were on the right side in the war and that the Japanese were wrong to attack us. I'm thankful for those who died fighting for our country. But that doesn't mean I need to hate those who attacked us, especially not after all this time.

It also does not mean I believe we were perfect and blameless in the war. There are stories of back room political manipulations. I don't know enough to comment. I do know that we shipped bus loads of people away from their homes to camps. As a Californian I understand the scare. My mother, who grew up in Redondo Beach, personally witnessed us send anti-submarine planes after Japanese submarines right off our coast. The unpublicized fact that Japanese subs were off the California coast would have probably caused even more panic. It was very scary. Still, what we did was wrong. Not wrong like the holocaust (as some like to imply), but still wrong.

I believe December 7 lives in infamy as a reminder. Like holocaust histories or more recently 911, we are reminded that we live in a world that still has a lot of evil in it. I want God's love to prevail. I like to believe the best in people. I pray for the day that the world is so full of his love that we don't need armies because their will be no wars, nor threat of wars. However, that time is not now. As far as I can tell, it's not even close.

December 7 is also a time to remember our soldiers. The soldiers at Pearl Harbor were killed in battle, yes, but not a normal battle. They were at their home port. Supposedly safe. Not in a war zone. We honor those who have fought and those who have died and rightly so. It's not often we think about how just being in uniform makes a person a target. Makes a person need a more constant vigilance. We forget how much our living soldiers who are "safe" at home also sacrifice for us.

December 7, Pearl Harbor Day. A day to remember the evil in the world and pray for God's love, grace and mercy. A day to remember those who have done and still do so much for us.

Allyson Felix

2007-12-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

My family actually knew Allyson Felix. I don't think I ever met her or her family, but I might have. We went to the same large church. My son, Dan, was friends with Wes (her brother) and attended school with him. My wife, Carolina, took the kids to the Felix house at least once or twice. I should mention that Dan and Wes were no older than second graders and Allyson was younger than that. It was a few years ago.

What's encouraging is seeing Allyson get such good press. In the current athletic climate, especially in track and cycling, drug use is almost assumed these days. If some star hasn't tested positive it's just because they haven't been caught yet. I'm happy for her.

I pray for her too. I'm not so naive to believe anyone is above temptation. If she were to test positive I've have trouble believing it. I'd also be crushed and that much more cynical.

Enough of the negative. The main point is that a well-grounded young woman from a good Christian family is doing well. I applaud her and her family. I pray for her happiness and God's blessings.

Juggling

2007-12-03T15:48:00.001-08:00

Because I loved this and haven't blogged quite enough today.

Wikipedia

2007-12-03T14:05:00.000-08:00

Ken Jennings, who knows a thing or two about research and trivia, posted this blog about Wikipedia. It ends with the following paragraph

Ironically, that kind of reader feedback is the very process that powers Wikipedia. These new tools have their own set of advantages too. Educators: you can’t discuss and encourage those advantages when you’re banning an omnipresent seven-million entry reference work like it was porn. Get those heads out of the sand.

Thanks, Ken, for some good old common sense! You should check out the entire post.

Confrontation

2007-12-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks back a friend asked me about confronting someone. My friend was very concerned because of what her friend was doing. This person had moved away. She was a Christian who wanted to marry a non-Christian. She had alienated a lot of people. My friend was one of a few people who still were talking with her. My friend was trying to love her and help her.

I got a bit uptight. I don't like confronting people and didn't know what to say. Then I realized something. Where in the Bible are we called to confront people?

Well, there's Matthew 18. We are told that if a brother sins against us we should talk to them. The word "confront" is not used. The whole idea of the passage is to reconcile when your brother. Also, it is someone who offends you. Not just someone who is screwing up. We should speak up when someone offends us. It can be a confrontation, but we should try hard to keep it an even keeled discussion. We should remember that our goal is to be reconciled with the person, not win a power struggle with them.

This, however, was not the case with my friend. Her friend is not doing things to offend her. She is just doing stuff that is not good.

There are some examples of confrontation of people doing wrong. Jesus confronted the hypocritical religious leaders of his time. Paul confronted Peter when Peter was being hypocritical in Antioch. Paul also urged confrontation of a church member who was sleeping with his father's wife. Even by very loose Corinthian standards what he was doing was notably perverted. All of these examples are cases of someone or some people publicly hurting the church and the message of God.

By contrast, Galatians 6:1-2 says this:

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself or you may also be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

I don't see confrontation here. I see care and love and gentleness. I see carrying someone's burden with them. I see carefulness and even fear in case I screw up the same way. We're all in this together. One day you may fall and need my help. The next day our situations may be reversed. ("We all need somebody to lean on...")

Of course we don't ignore someone who is screwing up. If I see someone getting conned I do what I can to let them know. I talk to them. I find facts and let them know about the con. If they're my friend and they trust me they'll probably listen. My goal is to help them avoid being conned. I don't "confront" them though. Usually arguing and pushing and making ultimatums are not effective at convincing someone. Quite often it's just the opposite -- when someone argues with us we usually dig in our heels and refuse to listen. At least that's how I am.

I'll ask here what I asked my friend. If you strongly believe something, what will it take to change your mind? How often have you actually been persuaded to change your lifestyle or beliefs? Ever? If so, what was effective? Arguing, yelling? Or was it a trusted friend who helped you see what was happening?

Let's be honest. First, as I said above, I don't like confrontation. I avoid it whenever I can. But I will do it. It's kind of a trip -- me being right and telling you what's wrong with you. Almost like I'm God, or at least his special agent. Neato, I'm very spiritual, at least more than you. Admit it, it's easy to be full of pride when we confront someone. If you admit that, you see why confronting is only very rarely the necessary thing to do. Jesus only did it to the leaders leading thousands of people away from God. Likewise Paul. Only when it was very necessary. It's too easy to be full of pride which is most probably a worse problem than whatever you are trying to correct.

My friend had already told her friend what she thought. I told my friend she had done what she could. Now the best thing was to just stay available and listen. To build trust and be there to help her when she needed it. If I had remembered Galatians 6:1-2 well enough I would have told her to share her friend's burdens. After all, if you were in need of correction, isn't that what you'd want?

Auf Wiedersehen geliebtes Fuchsauto

2007-12-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

We had a an old 1989 VW Fox.

It failed it's smog test. Actually, it's emissions were OK. The timing and idle were set wrong and a smog device had a broken hose.

The magnanimous state of California will now pay for such cars to be junked. They said they'd give us $1000 to junk our car. It's a program to get smog emitting cars off the road.

The blue book on our Fox was about, oh say, $0. Too good a deal to pass up. We like having a second car, but can definitely use the savings of only having one car. The Fox was getting old and using up repair money.

We applied for the $1000 by mail and got the paperwork. Friday we went to the DMV and turned in our license plates, title and registration (we actually lost our title, but no problem because there is a simple form to sign). Then we drove to the junk place using our special one day permit that allowed us to drive w/o plates. There the car had to pass a rigorous mechanical inspection. It had to run. It had to have a front windshield and at least one front window. A couple of other trivial things to make sure California wasn't paying us to junk a pile of scrap metal. All was good.

I didn't really believe it would happen until I saw the check. "If it's too good to be true it probably is." Well, here is the check we got from the junk place!

The junk place weighed the car and gave us an official weight ticket.

And our car was gone.

I'll actually kind of miss it. I guess I'm getting sentimental in my old age. It was good to us. It had a history. Carolina's sister Rebecca bought it when she was going through a divorce. Her first husband was a jerk and wrecked her credit. We helped her finance it. Now she's married again to a very cool guy and they have two boys and lots of other vehicles. They decided to give us the Fox for free.

It was kind of meant as a car for one of our children to use at school but never really turned out that way. It was a good second car when we had lots of drivers in the house. This really helped.

It was German, well-engineered but somewhat cranky and expensive to maintain. In the end, too expensive. Still, it served us well for many years. Thanks to California we even made a profit on it!

We have a habit of getting older cars and driving them into the ground. This time we actually got some money out of it.

For the record, here are the cars I (we) have owned.

1972 Capri. I bought in 1980 for $1600 a couple years before we were married. Put a new engine in for under $1000. The car was Ok and peppy to drive. The rebuilt engine was cheap and never worked well. We sold it for a few hundred around 1984-85.

1965 Oldsmobile Cutlass. This was a favorite old car of the husband of a co-worker of mine. They heard we could use a car and sold it to us for $100 a little before we sold the Capri. We junked it a few years later, but got $30-40 for it.

1978 Grand Prix. We knew a person at church who helped with ministry. People gave the church cars which the church gave to those in needed. We needed a car as the Olds was dying. The church gave us the Grand Prix. Very shortly the engine went. We replaced it for something approaching $2000. It lasted several years and got us to Oregon in 1991 for our summer at the University of Oregon SIL (stuffed to the gills -- packed things in and around the kids' car seats). It died coming home from Eugene at the end of the summer. Conveniently it started having trouble after coming over the grapevine, but made it all the way home to L.A.

1986 Astro Van. That same summer of 1991 we knew our Grand Prix wasn't going to go much more. Wycliffe helped us find a van while we were in Eugene. Paid $9000 -- a good deal but way more than we were used to. It was a tremendous improvement. Very low mileage and lasted a long time. We did have to replace the transmission soon after we got it (while in Dallas in 1991). Loads of room for the kids. A great traveling car. It finally died in 2004 and we junked it (no money received).

1989 VW Fox. Received as gift around 2000. Sold to junk for $1000!

2004 Scion xB. First new car for us -- paid about $16,000. Best car ever. Lots of room for a compact. Good gas mileage. Good stereo. Keeps value. No problems mechanically. I'd buy another if they still made the same model. It's our current car.

Good-bye, Fox. Thanks for the memories.

Nut Job 2

2007-11-29T09:05:00.000-08:00

My daughter, Sarah, showed me this video. It confirms the suspicions I published in Let's All Be Friends. After the last couple of "heavy" posts I thought I should share something sweet, light and romantic.

Andy Samberg and Adam Levine Iran So Far

Christian Evil

2007-11-27T16:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I called on Muslims to reject the evil in their ranks. Now I must do likewise for a group of so-called Christians.

Today I came across info about Westboro Baptist Church. They claim America is being punished for allowing homosexuality. They applaud the fact that America's soldiers are killed and maimed because it shows God's judgment on America. They like to protest at the funerals of American soldiers. Last year after one such protest the soldier's father sued the church and won. The jury awarded him $11 million.

Westboro Baptist Church is hateful and mean. This is not what Jesus preached. He told us God loves us. He called us to love God and love people. The people of Westboro grossly violate Jesus' direct commands and the entire spirit of his ministry. Jesus surrounded himself with "sinners." He never condemned a single prostitute though he knew many. He never condemned cheating, evil tax collectors although he had plenty of opportunity. He only condemned one group during his ministry -- hypocritical and mean religious leaders.

People of Westboro, do you read your Bible? Have you looked at Matthew 23 or the "sinful" woman in Luke 7:36 or the woman caught in adultery at the beginning of John 8? Have you noticed that Jesus' genealogy in Matthew 1 includes many people who participated in all sorts of deviant sexual behavior? Have you checked out the grossly-less-than-perfect lives of Lot and Samson and many others included in the list of heroes of faith in Hebrews 11?

Westboro is absolutely wrong. Bruce Willis has a great line in "Sin City" that applies here: "There is wrong, then there is wrong and then there is this." The people of Westboro make me as sick as the rape injustice I wrote about yesterday. Calling themselves Christian makes it so much worse. If all God hits Westboro with is an $11 million judgment and resultant bankruptcy they should consider themselves blessed recipients of his grace.

I want to call down fire from heaven on Westboro, but that would lower me to their level. God loves them just like he loves the evil Saudi judge and everyone else. I pray the people of Westboro really get to know the God they claim to worship and become acquainted with his love and grace before it's too late.

Rape injustice.

2007-11-26T17:17:00.000-08:00

The BBC carried this story Friday. A Saudi woman was raped and punished with 200 lashes. This is Saudi Arabia -- not Afghanistan, not Iran, not Iraq, not Syria. This is sick. Followers of Islam please explain why I should not be sickened by your religion. Is this against the Koran? Where is the compassion of Allah? Why do the Saudis do stuff like this? Where is the "moderate" Islamic outcry?

I know Christianity has its evils too. I reject them. I've so spoken and written many times. I invite followers of "the most beautiful way" to similarly reject such barbarism done in the land of Muhammad.

Spiked Eggnog

2007-11-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

I spent many years avoiding alcoholic drinks. Much of my Christian input indicated they were evil. I've held a more relaxed view for many years now. I realize they still can be abused with some very bad consequences, but they are not inherently evil. They can be very good.

For Thanksgiving we bought some spiked eggnog at Costco. I enjoyed it a lot, but I didn't drink as much as these guys did.

Web Geek

2007-11-26T08:39:00.001-08:00

I haven't blogged much in the last couple of weeks. I've been working on our Quartz Hill School of Theology website. Some of what I did was not very visible -- just file maintenance and clean-up. I did change the navigation frame a bit. I also added a link to professor blog feeds on the main page.

I had the most fun working on our related Quartz Hill Community Church page. The main thing I did was add an introduction to our people, including some videos. It was very fun and encouraging.

There are still changes to be made. Some parts are still pretty rough. I'll try not to drop to far out of the blog-o-sphere while I'm being a web geek.

I'm Only Human.

2007-11-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

As I mention in Remastered, I become much more peaceful with who I am and what my church is. This doesn't mean it's always easy.

I also mentioned that I'm treasurer and we are struggling. Last night I did the week's finances. We, as a church are as bad off financially as we've ever been since I was treasurer. We are behind on our bills. We won't be able to pay our pastor (Don) this week. It's very depressing.

Don has repeatedly advised me to not take it personally. He's right. Still, it's hard not to. Last night I felt very depressed. Just writing this is making me feel bad again.

Part of the problem is I wish I could personally do more. However, my personal finances are very tight. That only adds to the pressure.

Despite my depression, I actually had a good night last night. My wife, Carolina, and I spent some good time together last night and have been doing a bit more of that recently. That was encouraging. There's more to life than money.

Church life has been good outside of finances. That too encourages me.

Finally, there is a real sense I'm glad I'm depressed about the church finances. I can disassociate very easily and not care about stuff and people like I should. I'm glad to see I'm only human. God doesn't call us to be super-human, only humans that follow him.

Stairway to Heaven

2007-11-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

Actually, I do like some new music. Still, is there anything today that compares with Zepplin, Floyd or the Beatles?

OnStar

2007-11-05T11:26:00.001-08:00

Remastered

2007-11-05T09:14:00.000-08:00

I am different. My church is different. Today I'm a lot more at peace with that that I was even a month ago.

I've long been leading the church movement away from evangelism. I've felt enough hurt and rejection that I'd rather just stay in my shell and hide behind my walls. I'm happy that I've found a church that accepts (or at least tolerates) me.

For about a year now our church has been in almost constant financial crisis. We've paid the bills but we often have no money to spare and are often a bit behind. I'm the treasurer. I deal with it often.

As treasurer this has often caused me to think about solutions. If we don't have enough income, we need to reduce our expenditures. Unfortunately there is not really any excess spending. We can turn off lights better and try not to overuse the air conditioning, but these are really minor improvements. We still need to pay the mortgage and property tax and pastor's salary.

One radical solution would be to sell some property and fully commit to the idea of little or no future growth. I realized this and actually considered it as a solution for a while. I mean, if God is calling us to stay where we are, why not fully follow his calling? Many at church are like me -- they don't reach out.

The more I've thought of this the more I realize it's the wrong solution. God does not call us to hide in a box (or a church) and tend to ourselves. God has used this radical "final solution" to open me up to the only real solution for our budget crisis. We won't solve our problem by ignoring it and hoping it goes away or hoping a church member wins the lottery. Yes we need to pray and trust God. But we also need to change what we are doing. Specifically we need to reach out to our community.

Duh! Still, it's hard to describe how much I'm naturally against that idea. And, as I said, I think a lot of my church has fallen into the same mentality. What's cool is I'm now open to it.

I want to be clear: we do not reach out just so we can have more money. That's not what I'm saying at all. The financial crisis just highlights our real problem. We need to reach out because it's right and correct.

I've always viewed evangelism as sales. I need to become a pushy salesman hawking my wares door to door. I always fail because I'm not pushy like that. Furthermore I'm weird and once people figure out I'm weird they stay away.

What I'm finally comfortable with is that I'm not called to convince people. I am not called to be a salesman. There will be lots of people who don't like me or our church (at least not enough to attend). If, however, we are following God, if our church is his work, then there must be people God wants at our church. All we need to do is make ourselves known. Not sell ourselves. Not participate in a big sales campaign. Just inform people.

I like informing people. I passed out fliers for our Harvest Day (Halloween) party. I enjoyed it. I was at peace with it. I haven't done anything like it in a long time, and whenever I did I was not very happy doing it. This was much better. I still got nervous and got tired of walking around. I was glad to be done. But I was also glad to be doing it and want to do more of the same.

We don't need to all become salesman. We do need to let people know. If we let them know and they reject us, so be it. If everyone rejects us and we die in spite of our best efforts, then God is done with our church anyway and must have a different plan for us.

It feels like God has "remastered" me -- completely changed a part of me. I believe and hope he has. However, I know me. I'm sure many times I will want to crawl back into my shell. I won't always feel good about this. This blog will help remind me of the right thing to do.

Trial by Jury

2007-10-26T17:41:00.000-07:00

The trial I was on finished today. I talked about it in my Beyond Reasonable Doubt post, which showed up today but is listed as Oct 17 because that's when I began writing it (I didn't post because I thought there was some chance it violated the judge's admonition to not say anything about the trial, even though it contained none of the facts of the case.)

Now the trial is over so I can talk about it. The only restriction is that I must wait 90 days before taking money for my story. Those of you with the lucrative contracts will just have to wait.

I learned a lot in the trial. I was impressed with the professionalism of the judge and his concern for us, the jurors. I was happy to see they've made the jury process a lot less painful. Still, bring a book, there will be a lot of waiting -- even the juror materials say that.

Our trial was a criminal trial. A woman used fake American Express checks at the EZ 8 motel by Carrows and at Walmart (the old one on the west side of Lancaster). She was charged with two counts of forgery, one count of grand theft and one count of burglary.

The judge and both lawyers wanted us to understand that it would not be like "Law and Order" nor "CSI." ("Shark" also comes to mind, but they didn't mention it.) The evidence was much more bland. It was circumstantial. I thought about detective stories where some direct evidence always pops up at the end to contradict all the circumstantial evidence. Not in the trial. Circumstantial evidence is just as legal and persuasive as direct evidence.

At the end of the prosecution's case I had some doubts. The evidence for what happened in Walmart was not overwhelming. Some of the testimony from the EZ 8 was contradictory. The only fake check in evidence was the one used at the EZ 8 and the American Express expert talked about the check differently than the EZ 8 manager. I thought the defense might exploit some of those holes. However, the defense presented no case! They don't have to -- it's up to the prosecutor to show someone is guilty as the judge repeated reminded us.

The prosecutor gave a very good closing argument. (BTW, the opening statement is not an argument and cannot contain argument. It can only describe the evidence that will be presented.) When she was done I was much more sure of guilt. The key to all the charges was whether the defendant knew the checks were fake. The prosecutor really made it clear why she thought the defendant knew they were fake. Mostly, the defendant had a flimsy story about where she got the checks (some guy named "Marlin", no last name, no contact info). It didn't make sense.

The defense pointed out that the Walmart manager, the EZ 8 manager and clerk all had experience with traveler's checks and all thought the checks looked OK. Even the bank thought the EZ 8 check was OK. It also mentioned that the defendant just stayed at the EZ 8 and didn't try to run away.

That last point was, I thought, the main point in the defendant's favor. Why would she hang around?

However, I thought the defense lawyer made it clearer his client was guilty! How? As I said above, I thought there was some confusion on the facts of what happened. However, the defense lawyer just conceded the events in his argument and focused on whether his client knew the checks were fake. It was the main point, but by letting the other stuff go he helped clarify my thinking. He also made, I believe, an error. He stressed that his client gave her driver's license and other info to the EZ 8. Why would she do that if she knew the checks were fake? However, he mentioned that his client gave a PO Box number. What?? Who gives a PO Box? That's what people do to avoid being found. There was never any other mention of the PO Box except in the defense argument. OOPS! (The prosecutor sealed that argument when she pointed out there was no evidence that the info the defendant gave was correct.)

I was the alternate, so I didn't get in the deliberations. It was kind of frustrating to participate fully in the trial then not get to discuss with the other jurors. On the other hand the judge let me be on call -- I could leave the court house but had to keep my cell phone on and be withing 15-20 minutes of the court. I got to hang out at home while the rest deliberated, so I have no complaints.

Anyway, it took a day and a half to reach a verdict. The decided guilty on all counts. I agreed. I got to talk to some of them afterwards. I was happy with how they all saw things clearly. As one woman said, there was a lot of bullshit presented (by both sides), but the jury saw through it. We weren't just sheep that could be swayed by a clever lawyer. They saw the "Marlin" story as flimsy, just like I did.

I wondered about how the woman staying at the hotel (and not running) would figure in the debate. I noticed she just stayed over the weekend (she passed the first check late Friday night), so the banks wouldn't be open. However, she was arrested on Monday. I wondered why she would stay until Monday. The jury realized this, but noted that the bank probably wouldn't actually clear the check until Tuesday. It was only because the EZ 8 manager was suspicious and called Amex Monday that the fake was discovered so soon. The whole weekend idea was never mentioned during the trial -- the jury saw that on their own.

I liked my jury experience. Being on a jury is kind of a bonding experience. It's pretty cool. Even though I was the alternate and missed the deliberations they still accepted me as part of them. I also got to see a little piece of the legal system. It's far from perfect, but it's generally seems OK.

As a side benefit I learned a couple of other things. First, I now know a lot about what a real Amex check looks like. We saw a real and a fake. I was amazed at how many people with training were fooled. The hologram on the fake was not even close and the printing was very fuzzy.

I also learned that I don't want to be in court. If I am, I want a good lawyer. The prosecutor seemed prepared and organized. She looked at us and made logical arguments. The defense lawyer always read from notes. He repeated himself. He got lost at times. His arguments were at times hard to follow. He made the error I mentioned. He wasn't completely awful, but the prosecutor was better.

Unlike TV, the prosecution case was not all neat and tidy. However, it was good enough. "Beyond a reasonable doubt" is a tough standard but does not require perfection. Even when we have to judge the knowledge of the defendant, as case can be built.

I'd gladly do this again. I'm happy to have served.

Anger, Lust and Sports.

2007-10-26T16:31:00.000-07:00

Sarah made an interesting comment on my last blog. She says she's heard that anger is the only acceptable emotion for men in America.

I have two and a half natural emotions: anger, lust and sports. By lust, I mean sexual desire, not lust for power or money or your possessions. Lust is unacceptable in Christian circles. Sports is OK, but is only a half-emotion. So I guess Sarah is right. I have cried in my life, but it is very rare, and even more rare that I can do it in pubic.

When my nephew, Kyle, died my main emotion was anger. According to Kübler-Ross' stages of grief this means I'm still stuck and haven't fully processed my grief. Whatever. I appreciate the help and counseling I've gotten to become more expressive and more familiar with my emotions. However, I'm not going to manufacture emotions just to make others happy.

By contrast, women have 800 gazillion emotions, almost all of which are acceptable. That's OK with me. I'm not angry about it and I don't lust after any of their emotions, especially not PMS. If I'm feeling sporty I may try guessing a women's current emotional state, although it is almost always a dangerous and losing game.

Damn It He's Cursing Again

2007-10-24T21:24:00.001-07:00

Why do I -- a practicing Christian -- curse?

No, it's not because I want my words remembered, ala George Patton.

I curse because I get angry and want to express it.

I'm old enough that it was wrong to curse when I was a child, even if you weren't a Christian. I became a Christian in junior high and had that belief reinforced. I avoided all bad words. I felt ashamed and embarrassed if someone cursed in my presence.

However, I still got angry. I was shy and tried to hide my anger, but it came out anyway. It came out often in hurtful ways. This kept happening well into my adult life. I hurt those around me with my anger. Most of the time the people I hurt were those closest to me.

I finally came to terms with this. I was suppressing my anger until I finally exploded. To stop suppressing my anger I started recognizing it and dealing with it more. One of the easiest ways to deal with it is to express it. This gets it out in the open where it can be dealt with. Of course, if I express my anger by hurting others I don't really gain anything. So I yell at objects not people. I purposely say how I'm feeling. I have other strategies -- there are many times when yelling and anger expression is bad even if it's not directed at people.

About the same time I learned about how to deal with my anger, I also learned the Bible doesn't really have anything to say about cursing. Taking God's name in vain refers to taking an oath in God's name and then breaking that oath. It has nothing to do with cursing. I find no other biblical prohibition. Cursing helps me be honest about how I feel. I spent so much of my life hiding and holding back. When I suppress curse words I all too often suppress my anger and am dishonest.

I'm not saying it's just OK for me to go ballistic. The standard is to love people and inappropriate yelling is not love. But where possible, I express my anger to avoid suppression, which always ends up being worse.

Best, of course, would be to see life from God's perspective and get rid of ungodly anger. I'm working on that too. I'm very uptight (think Alan on "Two and a Half Men"). I need to learn to relax and trust God.

Now, those of you really paying attention will ask, "But Eric, you curse when you're not mad. Say, for example, your last blog entry." Yes, that's true. Remember I want to be honest. Sometimes I and many other Christians live in such a bubble. It's like if we curse God will break down and cry in shame. Bullshit! God is a big boy. He can handle it (kudos to my friend Don for this insight). I like to break that bubble. To open us up to the real world.

Another problem I've struggled with and still struggle with is pretending to be better than I am. I try to impress people with my righteousness. Cursing stops that tendency dead. Throwing out a couple of f-bombs will instantly remove any comparisons between me and Mother Teresa.

The comic Don McMillan talks about how his dad will pick on him or one of his siblings to pray at holiday meals. Since Don hasn't been to church in a while, he prays under his breath to not be picked. "Please, God, don't let him pick me to say the damn prayer. Damn! I cursed in a prayer, that can't be good. Oh, I did it again!" There was a time when I would have cringed at this. Now I think it's very funny.

Let's all lighten up a bit. Let's all be honest. If you don't like cursing, no problem. But please, don't suppress anger like I did. And don't pretend to be spiritual just because you use fewer adjectives than those around you.

Shit Happens

2007-10-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

I had a good weekend. The main message I got was. "If think your life is bad, just wait. It will get worse." How is this good? I have a long explanation.

Saturday I went with my friends Robin and Don to the High Desert Baptist Association semi-annual meeting. I didn't expect much: I'm not a big fan of meetings. I thought it would be good to go at least once. I'm treasurer at my church. Even though we are pretty informal that does make me a corporate officer. I also don't know much about Southern Baptists. This is my first Southern Baptist church. Also, I have been trained theologically so I do have some interest in ecclesiastical doings.

The meeting had three main parts. First there were breakout sessions (seminars). Then the main business meeting. Then a repeat of the seminars.

The meeting wasn't bad, but it wasn't that interesting either. I didn't care much for the main speaker. He had that preacher fast-talking-loud-almost-yelling style that I don't like. Nothing really wrong with him, just didn't do much for me. At least the business side of the meeting was efficient. I appreciated that -- why keep us bored longer than necessary. There was some pastoral posturing and backhanded bragging that I've grown used to in Christian circles. Nothing really bad, and most people there seemed pretty cool. Still, I wish we'd quit doing stuff like that.

The seminars, on the other hand, turned out very well. After the main meeting I attended a seminar on how the Southern Baptist cooperative program works. I learned that Southern Baptist Churches are very independent. We don't even have to affirm the SB statement of faith. The SB hierarchy cannot tell churches what to do. Churches join as they wish, believe as they wish and contribute as they wish. I liked that. There is an approval process, so I assumed no real whacked out organizations can join. The main reason for the organization is to cooperate on stuff. The main stuff they cooperate on is missions work. The SBs are very mission minded. I liked that a lot. Very efficient with a clear goal and methodology for helping fulfill the Great Commission. Overall I was very encouraged. I much more proud of being a Southern Baptist and now can more clearly explain what that means.

So far, you're wondering how all this relates to my title. The link is this: Robin gave the first seminar. Now Robin is not shitty or anything. In fact, I love hearing him speak. However, I wasn't going to go to his seminar. Even after I went, Robin asked why I'd gone. I have heard him give the same talk before. I've read his book on the subject. (The unpublished "The Complaint of Jacob," which I highly recommend.) I've heard his ideas many other times. When we got to the meeting Don wanted to go to Robin's talk and I was new and felt like hanging with Don and I do like listening to Robin. So I went and it turned out to be just what I needed.

In Genesis 42 Jacob complains about his life. From his point of view he is right. His life is crap. His wife, Rachael, the love of his life is dead. His favorite son, Joseph, is dead. His family is staving. His sons traveled to Egypt to get food and pissed off the prime minister so badly Simeon is held in jail. This same prime minister now wants his beloved youngest son Benjamin to come to Egypt.

Jacob is absolutely right from his point of view. However, he is absolutely wrong. In reality Joseph is not dead, but is the prime minister of Egypt. God will use him to bless Jacob's family and the world. Life really could not be better.

I needed to hear what Robin said. I whine and get depressed. I needed reminding how much God loves me. How the bad stuff is not my fault. How God will get me through. Even though there is bad in my life, including bad that I've done and bad caused by the bad I've done, God has not given up on me. He loves me and does have a good plan. It probably won't involve wealth and massive success in this life, but God does take care of me. There really is a lot good about my life. I need to quit searching for current comfort and success and being depressed when it doesn't happen. I need to remember that God is in my life and trust him.

Then Sunday, Don preached about almost the same thing. He talked about how Jeremiah complained in Jeremiah 12. God's answer: "If you've run with men and are tired, how will you run with horses?" In other words, "You think this is bad, just wait. It will get worse!" Wow! At first this sounds depressing. However, pause and think for a minute. If it were true that doing good means you will live a wonderful life, then the fact that your life is not all wonderful and successful means you are screwing up. If, on the other hand, it is normal even for good people to suffer, then suffering does not mean we are evil. It does not mean that we are screwing up. In fact the Bible says the godly will suffer.

So many people in our lives, so many preachers in church and on TV, tell us that if we just believe enough or do something better our lives will be wonderful. It is very easy to feel tremendous guilt for our failures. I do it all the time. I need to stop and accept the shit in my life. I need to just trust that God loves me and is leading me in a good direction.

So God thought I needed to hear essentially the same message twice this weekend. As message I've heard many times before and even told others many times before. God was right. I feel much better and more focused.

I am fickle. After my good weekend I got depressed Monday about stuff that happened in court (I'm still on a jury). Tuesday I played racquetball and got depressed about how I played. I forget so quickly. The good news is that in both cases I finally remembered what I'd learned over the weekend and it helped me through.

I had a chance to share some of these thoughts with a friend who had a hard day Monday. I was kind of clumsy, but overnight it jelled into a thought I want to share.

"Despite what parents and other guilt producing entities may say, most of the shit in your life is not there because you are doing something wrong."

A related idea: "There's nothing you can do to remove most of the shit in your life."

Or, as they say, "Shit happens."

I now have a new erenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the shit I cannot change, the courage to remove the shit I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Shit happens to all of us. Don't take it personally. Trust God, know that he loves you and live through the shit.

Tech Support

2007-10-18T17:21:00.000-07:00

I've never done tech support exactly, but have helped people with computers. This video says it all.

BTW, got this from a friend of long ago, Eric Messelt. He found me on Facebook. More good from the "evil" internet.

Beyond Reasonable Doubt

2007-10-17T08:38:00.001-07:00

I wrote this while I was on the jury for a criminal case. I can't talk about it until it's over. I wasn't supposed to talk about the details of the case while it was going on and thought it better not to post this then, even though it contains none of the facts for the case.

I picked up a couple of ideas from my case that seem interesting.

The first is the idea of making an unbiased or fair decision. In court they want us jurors to be not unduly biased. They recognize that we all have bias, but they want our bias to not hinder us from making a fair decision in our case. The judge has stressed several times that we need to treat every witness as starting at zero. We let the words they say and any related evidence determine how much we believe them. We don't decide how much to believe by how they look or what their lawyer does or because they are a police officer or for any other non-relevant reason.

Our job as jurors is to fairly judge the facts of the case. There is no appeal of a jury's decision. We are the only ones who ever get to decide the facts. Cases can be appealed on points of law, but the jury's fact finding cannot be appealed. In other words, what we jurors decide is final. We need to be careful and do our job well.

In a process called "voir dire," the court asks us questions to get some idea if we will have a problem deciding fairly. They ask if we know anyone in the trail or have any life experience that might prejudice us in the case. They directly ask if we can make an unbiased decision.

As I've said many times that I think one problem many of us have is that we hold opinions so closely we only argue to prove our position. How much better to listen like a juror and decide the facts. As I've learned already in my trial, this is not easy. It is easier to hold to preconceived ideas. As a juror I feel a tremendous duty to listen carefully and not be biased. Shouldn't we all do the same for important issues in our lives?

The case I'm on is a criminal case. In the U. S. people are presumed innocent until proven guilty. Because of this, the defendant is currently not guilty. If I had to vote before any evidence was presented, I'd be obligated to vote "not guilty." It reminds me that in philosophy, disproving one side does not prove the other side. And, by the way, in politics proving your opponent is a scumbag does not prove you are a good candidate.

Another concept is proving "beyond a reasonable doubt." In any criminal case in the U. S., guilt must be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. This is a pretty high standard. It is not enough to have the weight, or preponderance, of the evidence in favor of guilt. There must be no reasonable doubt. It is possible for me to think a person committed the crime, but still have enough doubt that I'd vote not guilty. On the other hand the standard is not "beyond all doubt." I can have some doubt and still vote "guilty."

Very little in life, perhaps nothing, is beyond all doubt. Yet that is often the standard opponents of a position claim the position must adhere to. It's easy to stick our heads in the sand and just believe what we think we know. It's also easy to just say we can't know anything because there are doubts about everything. Much harder, but I believe much better, is to listen to evidence and arguments and make the best decisions we can.

Since I originally wrote this I noticed that Robin had this quote from Larry Niven which sums up nicely what I'm trying to say:

To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection.

Two years gone by.

2007-10-08T12:59:00.001-07:00

About two years ago my nephew Kyle died in a motorcycle accident. I blogged about it on MySpace.

Two years later friends are still leaving comments on his profile. The comments are uplifting. Not only that, MySpace seems to have provided those who mourn Kyle with a forum for expressing their thoughts. How cool is that?

Kyle's death was bad and evil -- I still don't understand it. Nonetheless a lot of good came out of it, as I wrote here. I am very glad to see so many good wishes on his MySpace site. I'm tired of hearing how evil this generation is (they said the same about ours) and how the world is falling away from God. Yes, we have problems. But there is also a lot of good. Even on the internet. Thanks to Kyle and his friends for showing us old farts how good people can be.

Nerd 2.

2007-10-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

In my last post I tried to show the hilarious side of xkcd without going overboard on the nerdy side. Since I got such a good response from both my fans and some questions about levels of nerdiness, I present the following. If you get these, you know you're a nerd.

I almost died laughing.

I've actually had thoughts like this.

A comic only a programmer could love.

Even at work (where we all write code), I'm the king of shell scripts and regular expressions.

I am a Nerd

2007-10-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

I ran across a very funny web comic strip. It is probably the funniest comic I've ever read.

It's also so nerdy that even my friends and family (except my brother Craig) probably won't get many of the strips.

The comic is xkcd.

Here are a few samples I found hilarious.

Yes, I'm weird.

Air in the Tires

2007-09-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

Trevor was happy. Very happy. He had a shiny, brand new bicycle. He never had such a nice gift in his whole life.

It was Trevor’s seventh birthday. He had learned how to ride the old bike in the garage, with his dad’s help. He had worked real hard, and was very careful with the old bike. Then, just like his dad promised, he got a new bike on his birthday.

Trevor rode his bike everywhere. He rode to school. He rode to the store. He rode all over town. People would see him coming and say, “There goes Trevor on his brand new bike.” Trevor was so proud as he rode and rode his bike everywhere.

But after a long time, Trevor felt something was wrong. It was harder to pedal his bike. He barely noticed the difference at first. But it was harder. Not only that, it was getting a little harder all the time. Even though Trevor pedaled as hard as he could, the bike just went slower.

Trevor started to worry. “Am I getting weak?” he thought. “No, I can still run and jump OK. Maybe something’s wrong with my bike.”

But try as he might, Trevor couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Finally he said to himself, “My Dad’s pretty smart. I’ll ask him.”

So Trevor went to his dad and told him about how his bike was getting harder to ride and was going slower. His dad said, “Well, let’s take a look.”

So they went outside and looked at the bike. His dad said, “Hmmm, I think I see the problem. Your tires are running out of air. When you ride a lot your tires slowly lose air. Nothing’s really wrong, you just need to do is go down to Bert’s gas station and put air in your tires. I’m sure Bert will be glad to help you.”

Trevor was relieved that the problem was so simple. And he was so happy that he hardly noticed how hard he had to peddle to get to Bert’s gas station.

When he got there, he didn’t see Bert. He looked all over. Then he thought, “Bert’s not here, but I’ve seen my dad get air a lot. I bet I could do it.”

And Trevor did just that. He found the air hose, and, since he was a very clever boy, figured out how to fill his tires all by himself. He had gotten his tires mostly filled, when he heard a man shouting.

“Hey, kid, get away from there! You’re gonna break something!”

Trevor looked up to see a strange man he didn’t know. The man was wearing overalls just like Bert, but he was not Bert. He was big and mean looking and angry. Trevor was surprised and scared. He dropped the hose and just stood there.

The man went on screaming, “What do think you’re doing. You’re too young to play around here. You get out of here now. If I ever see you here again, I’ll make you wish you were never born!”

It took a lot of courage for Trevor even to pick up his bike, but he did and rode away as fast as he could. He didn’t ever want to see that man again.

Trevor didn’t know what he did wrong, but he figured he must have broken something. He was afraid of what that man might do. He was afraid the man would tell his dad about it.

After a few days, Trevor was surprised but somewhat relieved. His dad didn’t say anything, so he guessed the man hadn’t told on him. Trevor sure didn’t want to tell. He could still ride his bike, although it was a little hard because he hadn’t filled the tires all the way up. Now he still rode all over town, except he stayed far away from Bert’s gas station.

And the tires eventually started losing air again. This time it didn’t take so long for the bike to be hard to ride, since the tires didn’t get full. Trevor loved his bike, but it got harder and harder to ride. Finally, Trevor gave up. Riding was just too hard. He put his bike in the garage, and just walked. He was also very sad.

One day, Trevor’s dad came to talk to him.

“Hi Trevor, buddy. Is something wrong? I haven’t seen you ride your bike, and you don’t look very happy.”

Trevor liked his dad, and he knew his dad loved him. But he didn’t want to get into trouble. He didn’t know what to say. Finally he said, “It’s too hard to ride.”

Surprised, his dad answered, “Didn’t you put air in the tires like I told you to?”

“Well, yeah, sort of.”

“What do you mean, sort of. What’s wrong, Trevor?”

Trevor couldn’t hold back any longer. He started crying. He had to tell his dad, even if he got into trouble. Between sobs, he told his dad the whole story.

Instead of getting angry, his dad said, “Trevor, I’m sorry you didn’t tell me this sooner. Let’s go have a talk with Bert and see what happened.”

Trevor was kind of scared, “What if that man sees me and gets mad at me?”

His dad said, “You let me worry about that.”

Trevor was still a little scared, but he felt safe with his dad. He knew his dad would make everything OK.

When they got to Bert’s gas station, they saw Bert and sat down with him in his office. Trevor’s dad asked him to tell his story to Bert. Trevor was still a little nervous, but he did OK since his dad and friendly Bert were there with him.

When Trevor finished, Bert said, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I hired this new guy a few weeks ago. But I had to fire him. He kept taking breaks and leaving the gas station alone. Not only that, he was mean, really mean. I lost a couple of customers because of him. I apologize. I won’t let it happen again. Can you forgive me?”

Of course, Trevor and his dad said they would forgive Bert, and they were still friends (and customers!). They went to get Trevor’s bike and Bert personally put air into the tires.

After that, Trevor was very happy again. He learned it was a really good idea to talk to his dad whenever he had a problem. And once again, he rode and rode all over town. One of the places he visited most was Bert’s gas station, and he never ran out of air again.^*

^* Ephesians 5:18 "Be filled with the Spirit." The Greek for spirit is pneuma, which means spirit or air. Bikes have pneumatic tires — tires that are full of air.

Let's All be Friends

2007-09-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

Anyone else notice the resemblance between Steve Carell and Ahmadinejad?

Oh, I just learned Wikiality sees it too. However, we should not insult Carell. Maybe it's just how much Ahmadinejad acts like Michael from The Office.

Or maybe I'm thinking of Borat.

Cheetah?

To be fair, word meanings often get lost in translation. Maybe we've just misunderstood Ahmadinejad all along. Like, maybe the reason he says there are no homosexuals in Iran is that he has a different understanding of the word.

Wow I feel better. Now that I understand Ahmadinejad, I think we can all be friends. I hope to send him a present soon.

Rocket Man!

2007-09-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

Actually, Jet Man. Courtesy of Bubba. Awesome! Thanks.

Fusion Man home page. More Info.

A Religious War?

2007-09-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

I don't like war. I'm not sure about what's going on in Iraq, as I mentioned a while back. I like to think that eventually God's love, rationality, democracy and freedom will win out. Like the people of Eastern Europe a couple of decades ago, won't the oppressed people of various places, including those in the Middle East, finally see how badly they are treated and rebel?

Unfortunately it may not work out that way. My friend Robin often talks about the Islamic threat on his blog. Lately he has talked a lot about the travesty of Columbia University allowing Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to speak. Robin admits he may be biased, having lived in Israel on a Kibbutz, and I don't always like the intensity of his comments. However, after knowing him now for over 10 years I've learned not to take what he says lightly. He researches well. His information is rarely wrong and almost always well documented. He also thinks more clearly and in a more unbiased fashion than just about any person I know, both those I've met and those I've read. What Robin has to say disturbs me and I cannot ignore it.

Is all Islam violent? One of my bosses is Muslim. (He is coincidentally named "Oussama" which is pronounced the same way as "Osama.") He is a very nice person and a good boss. My daughter who served in Iraq saw people who just wanted to live a peaceful life like most of us do. I used to attend a church that had an Arabic congregation. My family and I worked in the Sunday school. (Obviously not Muslim, but still most people there were from the Middle East.) When I was just out of college, during the Iran hostage crisis, I and my roommates lived next door to an Iranian family that was very kind to us. When my wife and I sold our first house (just after the first Persian Gulf war) our agent was Iraqi. She and her husband were two of the nicest people I've ever met. This all makes me hope for the best.

And yet ... we have the president of Iran denying the holocaust. He heads up a country that oppresses women and executes homosexuals (perhaps that's why "such people" don't exist in Iran). And he asks why it is not OK for Iran to have nuclear weapons!

Perhaps you think it's just Western propaganda. Do things like this story about the execution of a 16 year old girl really happen? Check out the movie Osama (there's that name again but again has nothing to do with bin Laden) which was made by Afghan film makers. It's chilling.

How can all this be happening and there is not a stronger outcry from "moderate" Islam?

I've rambled a little. What is my point? I want to believe the best. I have known and do know good Arab and Islamic people. The idea of fighting a religious war is abhorrent to me. But I will not let my guard down. We better not let our guard down. The U.S. and Israel and the west are far from perfect. But let's not kid ourselves. There are some very evil people in the world. The kind that torture and kill innocent people. The kind that uses airplanes as weapons against civilians. The kind whose goal is to wreck our way of living or die trying. We cannot allow such people to have their way, no matter what the cost.

A Jog in the Desert

2007-09-25T16:18:00.000-07:00

(This one's for Justin, er I mean Austin, and Sarah. Let the questions begin!)

It was a crisp, cool morning as Sarah jogged steadily down Avenue J. Turning north on 30th Street West, she stayed to the left, because the dirt on the left side was much kinder to her shins than the sidewalk on the right. Majestic mountains spread out in front of her and to her left. She took it all in — the awe-inspiring mountains, the spacious desert, the clear dark blue sky, still painted with the pastel colors of the almost complete sunrise. Most people thought of the desert as hot and barren. But in these early morning hours, Sarah felt blessed by the refreshing air.

“Wow!” she thought as she once again reminded herself of the reason she put up with the torture of her early morning runs. She loved the solitude and the quiet, giving herself a chance to clear her head before another typically hectic day. The wonder and beauty of God’s creation overwhelmed her, and she uttered a silent prayer of praise and thanks as she had done so many times before.

In spite of her general aversion to sports, Sarah had been jogging for almost twenty years now. She hated the torture, but enjoyed her slim, attractive figure and the athletic confidence it gave her. She enjoyed too the way jogging in these quiet hours was so calming. That, combined with the endurance and low pulse rate it gave her, helped her through the stress of her day. God knows she needed it, with a demanding career and two small children to take care of. It also was a break from the drudgery of a daily routine that Sarah often found boring for her active, intelligent mind.

The rare sound of a car approaching pulled her out of her daydream. She looked up to see a blue sedan only thirty feet in front of her and approaching at high speed. “Oh my God, he’s going to hit me,” she thought as she began her next step. Instead of a normal running step, she instinctively pushed down hard with her right foot, sending herself rolling to the left. The car narrowly missed her as she rolled onto her back in the soft desert dirt.

“Idiot! I can’t believe a drunk would be out at this time of day!”

She was still in a state of shock as she looked at the car that had just passed. She saw it screeching to a stop several hundred yards beyond her and beginning to turn around. “I guess he’s coming back to see if I’m OK.”

Then she noticed it wasn’t coming back slowly, as she expected, but was picking up speed again. “He’s coming after me again!” she suddenly realized. Out here on the open, sparsely vegetated desert, she wouldn’t have much of a chance.

She saw that her only chance was to cross 30th Street to the housing tract there. She sprinted across the street, hoping she had time to get there before the car came back. Fortunately, her adrenaline rush and her well-trained legs allowed her to sprint across well before the accelerating car came near her. She leaped up the back wall of the house in front of her. As she rolled over the top, she heard a loud crack and felt something whiz by her ear. “My God, now they’re shooting at me, too! I’ve got to get out of here!”

As she cleared the wall on the other side of the yard, she heard the car screeching through another turn. “They must be turning to get in the housing tract entrance just south of here. I’ve got to think. Got to get to some people, call for help.”

Sarah didn’t want to risk knocking on a door this early in the morning. Most people were probably asleep and, even if they did come to the door, it would probably take too long, making her vulnerable to attack. She had to keep moving!

A plan began to form in her mind. Wal-Mart, just over half a mile away, would be open, as it always was. There would be people there, and phones. How to get there though? She knew she couldn’t outrun the car. But she realized she could hop fences. “I may not may not be much of an athlete,” she thought, “but at least I learned to climb when I was young.” The winding neighborhood roads would slow down and confuse her pursuers, while she could more or less make a beeline through backyards.

She made it most of the way through the neighborhood safely. She could still hear the screech of wheels from time to time, but had avoided her attackers successfully. She had just crossed the last neighborhood street and was beginning to climb into the yard on the other side, when the blue sedan screeched around the corner. It caught sight of her and began coming toward her just as she cleared the fence.

“Great,” she thought, “now they’ll know where I’m going.”

Nothing to do though, but keep on. Over the back fence of this yard lay 25th Street, and beyond that the back of Wal-Mart. She would have to cross the wide street and run through the 200 yard long side parking lot next to Lancaster Boulevard until she reached the front of the store. It was a dangerous open stretch, but she had to risk it. She knew the car would have to go out the housing tract entrance a quarter mile south and then come back up. She hoped this gave her enough time to reach her goal.

Clearing the fence, Sarah sprinted across 25th Street into the Wal-Mart parking lot. As she passed the back of Wal-Mart into the side parking lot, she heard the blue sedan turn onto 25th Street. “God, please help me make it!”

Literally running for her life, she gave it all she had through the side parking lot. It seemed like an eternity. 100 feet to go, 75, 50, 30, 20 — almost there. Just then, the blue sedan turned from 25th Street onto Lancaster Boulevard, at the far corner of the parking lot. She heard a shot and felt the spray of shattered mortar as a bullet struck the store wall just behind her. But now she was at the front corner of Wal-Mart. She rounded it quickly and flew into the store.

The always present, friendly greeter seemed somewhat surprised to see Sarah rush in like that. Nonetheless, she maintained her composure and asked politely, “May I help you?”

“Please help me,” Sarah yelled breathlessly, “I need the police! Someone is trying to kill me.”

“OK, ma’am, please calm down, and tell me what’s happening.”

Sarah drew a deep breath, and tried as best she could to explain what had happened. The Wal-Mart manager was called, and he quickly phoned the police. Sarah was still nervous, but was glad to be around people again. She was also glad that her plan seemed to be working — there was no sign of her attackers.

While they were waiting for the police, the manager had Sarah rest at the in-store McDonald’s. He got her a coke and she was finally able to relax a little. She could no longer hear her heart pounding, and was finally able to put a few thoughts together.

“How’d I get into this mess?” she wondered. “I guess it all started so many years ago, during that fateful year in eighth grade…”

Her mind drifted. It hadn’t seemed so fateful at the time. It had seemed like a rough year. Her family had, until that time, been trying to get on the mission field, but had finally failed at that at the end of her seventh grade year. Then one thing followed another: they changed churches; switched to Desert Christian School instead of the last four years of home schooling; Dad had begun to commute to work again instead of being at home so much; and they had moved from an apartment into their house.

School had been a struggle. Sarah was a new student and felt very out of place. Fortunately, the students were friendly, but still Sarah found it difficult to make friends. Her class work was much more mundane and boring than home school — Desert Christian was so inflexible at times, and not many of her teachers seemed to appreciate her intelligence and creativity.

All of this, plus some family struggles, caused her schoolwork to suffer. Sarah did survive and graduate. She also began to enjoy school more. Perhaps most important of all, she determined to do well in school, no matter how boring it was or what people thought of her. This determination set the stage for her great high school success — between her intelligence and hard work she became her class valedictorian. Her academic achievements lead to a scholarship at Harvard, allowed her to escape her rather bland life in Lancaster and propelled her into the top of her law school class.

That same year too, the summer after her eighth-grade graduation, she had taken up jogging. “Yuck!” was her first reaction. But she was encouraged (maybe a better word is “pushed”) by her Dad, brother and sister, and friends to try out for the cross-country team. She didn’t become a great runner, but did slowly learn to enjoy the sport. Her teammates were often encouraged by her quiet dedication to do her best. It never was clear to her whether her determination got her through four years of cross-country, or whether cross-country gave her the endurance and mental toughness for her later academic success. Jogging was in many ways boring, but it had become a life-long habit, and in the process, her friend.

The cross-country years had also broadened her social life. The girls, and even most of the guys, on the team weren’t just a bunch of airhead jocks. Rather she found some serious minded, dedicated, intelligent people. She made many friends, at last finding people who could begin to appreciate her complexity, intelligence and seriousness.

In a way, that set the stage for where she was now. After graduating law school, she was hired by a top Bay Area law firm. However, she soon grew tired and bored of the office politics. She certainly wasn’t one to kiss-up to anyone, even if they were top-notch lawyers. She had never really cared about making huge sums of money. She only wanted to help people. She saw the only people they were helping were big corporations and the rich, and often helping them to step on the poor.

After quitting, a series of events lead her back to her hometown of Lancaster. Oh, she didn’t live at home with her parents — she was much too independent for that. But she found comfort in being home among old friends after her time away in the big city. The big city hadn’t really been any more exciting than Lancaster, just more frenetic. “May as well be bored among friends,” she thought.

Furthermore, she found there were plenty of people in need of help back in Lancaster. She opened her own office, and did OK for a while. She never made much money, but managed to get by, helping people as she could. She grew tired however, of the court battles. Oh, she could hold her own in a debate all right. But she again grew bored, this time with the courts — the petty little technicalities and the need in too many cases to kiss-up to judges and deal with lawyers who were too full of themselves.

While a lawyer, she had actually spent most of her time investigating. After all, the key to a good case is facts. Most of her clients couldn’t afford a decent private investigator, so she had to do a lot of her own fact gathering, which she enjoyed. She liked being out in the field, gathering facts, and solving problems. There she even enjoyed the people. They were much more honest, and not so pompous as people around the courts.

And that led her to change jobs again — she became a private investigator. This may seem a strange change, especially for a woman. But contrary to popular opinion (and TV shows), the best investigators are not “macho” men. Rarely, if ever, is there the kind of heart pounding danger and action that makes a good TV show and requires some sort of super jock. Private investigation is, in fact, well suited to women. It requires patient fact gathering. It requires talking to people, making friends, and getting them to trust you. And people much more readily trust women. This is not a sexist view, just a plain fact.

So, that’s where Sarah had ended up about five years ago. She had a healthy little business, never making too much money, but helping people and enjoying the chance to be useful. She was a whiz at problem solving, fact gathering, and computer use, all of which are essential to a good private investigator in the twenty-first century. Although it was somewhat boring at times, at least she avoided most of the pompous airheads she had been around.

Just a year later, the biggest surprise of all had happened — she met him. She knew she never wanted to get married — she had known since junior high. She had no desire for the mundane life that she saw her mom and dad lead. Oh, she loved them with all her heart, and they were wonderful parents. She enjoyed her childhood mostly, and even at times her clueless brother and annoying little sister. It’s just that that kind of life wasn’t for her. In spite of being a child of the nineties, and having friends and family that were pretty open about women’s roles, she still envisioned marriage and motherhood as tying her down to a boring life at home.

But Justin had changed all that. He was not only charming and handsome, he respected her. More than that, he treated her as an equal, gave full worth to her mind, her career and her person. Falling in love had not been as hard as she thought.

Even before getting married, they decided to have children. They both loved children, volunteering as Sunday School teachers at church. It suddenly dawned on Sarah that with her own children she could be around the children she enjoyed, without putting up with the adults that often annoyed her. They also realized that with Justin working nearby as a school teacher and Sarah working at her own business out of their home, she could pretty well keep up a full career, even with children. She did most of her work at home on the computer. When she did have to go out, it was often in the afternoon and evening, when Justin was home.

Sarah found herself where she never thought she would be: enjoying marriage, family and career, in love and happy most of the time in spite of her busy schedule. The one thing that bothered her, that had always bothered her, was that life still was often boring.

Her mind drifted back to the present, however. What had happened? She was investigating an ex-husband, delinquent in child-support. Ripped-off mom’s made up a lot of her clients: there were so many flaky fathers it was a big need. Plus, these abandoned women were often some of the most needy. The work was a bit mundane, but the challenge of finding a person trying to hide often stretched Sarah’s creativity and problem solving abilities. She loved the hunt!

The case she was currently working on had been particularly difficult. This guy seemed to have no end of false aliases and addresses. Just yesterday Sarah finally felt like she was making some positive progress, and hoped to nail him today. Could her case have anything to do with the gunmen in the car? She shuddered: that was a scary thought.

Just then the police arrived at Wal-Mart, shaking Sarah from her thoughts. They of course knew she was a P. I., since she was licensed and registered. They asked about her case. She couldn’t talk about it because of client privacy privilege. However, she thought her client wouldn’t mind. After all, her goal was to expose the bum who left her. So she called and, as expected, her client let her talk.

The police were shocked when they heard who she was looking for. “Do you know who Robert Hernandez is?” they asked.

“No, just some bum,” Sarah answered.

“Ma’am, he’s not just some bum. We’ve been after him for a year. He’s in charge of racketeering in for the whole Antelope Valley. He runs numbers, controls book, even has a hand in the state lottery.”

Sarah was floored. She had no idea. No wonder these guys were after her! “Can you stop them?” she asked.

“We’re trying ma’am, but he is a slippery fish. We hope to have a case built in the next six to twelve months.”

“Six to twelve months! What about me, what about my family?” Sarah felt a shudder go through her.

“For now, we’ll give you protection. We’ll have an officer watch your place, at least for the next several days. We’ll see what happens. Meanwhile we suggest you back off, and hope it cools down.”

Sarah hated to back down on her case, but she saw the wisdom of their advice. Even if she did succeed in finding Robert Hernandez, what good would it do? Besides, the police were working on it.

Sarah and Justin were pretty shaken that night. They were in way over their heads and they knew it. They didn’t really know what to do, so they prayed. In fact, they prayed a lot. They prayed for safety, they prayed for wisdom. They even prayed that God would work in the hearts of Robert Hernandez and the men who had chased Sarah.

A week went by, with nothing happening. The police had to withdraw the protection: they couldn’t just keep a man there for months at a time. Sarah and Justin understood that and thanked them for their help.

Sarah didn’t sleep at all that night. So she spent most of the night praying. It wasn’t just that she was afraid, although she was still pretty shaken up. She just didn’t feel right. She didn’t feel it was safe to stay at home. But what could they do? They couldn’t just pull up and move, could they?

Then God gave Sarah an answer! She woke up Justin and told him the idea, and after shaking off the sleep, he liked it too. They could go to CBS! Campus by the Sea was their favorite vacation summer spot. Justin had just finished teaching for the year and was on summer break. They had some savings and were planning to spend a week there anyway. The Catalina Island camp was secluded and hard to reach since it had no roads in or out. It would be easy to spot an intruder even if they did find them, and call for help. Sarah and Justin together thanked God for his answer and prayed that he would work out the details.

In the morning Sarah called CBS. The camp director said they had just lost a staff family, who had to make a sudden move back to the mainland. This left them with an open cabin and in need of staff to work with children. Sarah and Justin had volunteered in the past, and the camp director said that if they were willing to come they could even be paid staff and would really help the camp out of a bind.

Sarah hung up singing and praising God!

She called the police and told them the idea, and they agreed it sounded good. They could arrange with LAPD to be on alert, ready to helicopter out in the unlikely event there was any trouble on the island.

Sarah and Justin were able to pack and leave that day. They reached the island safely and enjoyed a great summer.

During the summer the whole camp, as well as their church and many other Christian friends were praying for them. As the end of summer approached, they began to wonder about getting home. Just a week before they were due to leave, they got a phone call in the office. It was the police.

“Lady, I’m not sure you’re going to believe it. I’m not sure I believe what happened. You must lead a charmed life,” the officer on the phone said.

Sarah replied, “I don’t know about charmed, but I and my family and friends have been praying all summer.”

“Well, there must be a God in heaven then.” the officer answered. “Two days ago we were at the station, when Robert Hernandez walked in the front door! He said he’d become a Christian and wanted to confess and turn himself in! We practically fell off our seats! He also said he called off the contract on you. It’s safe to come home!”

Sarah leaped out of the office and practically floated up the hill. What a great God she served!

Back on the mainland, Sarah and Justin were able to visit Robert Hernandez and hear his story.

He said that since early summer strange things had been happening to him. He kept feeling weird. He had dreams and premonitions that his career would end soon. Since mob careers usually end in death, this really shook him up. Then, just a week before he walked into the police station, his right-hand man, and best friend, died in a freak accident. At the funeral, the preacher talked about heaven and hell and the need to believe in Christ. This upset Hernandez so much, that he went up afterward to the preacher and said, “Nobody talks to Robert Hernandez like that. I’m going to get you, preacher.”

The preacher just looked back and said, “Well, sir, I just speak for God, and I believe he has the right to talk to anyone like that, even you!”

This shook Hernandez up so much, he decided to go to that preacher and kill him that night. He found the preacher alone at church that evening. When he came, he brought a loaded gun with a silencer. But when he got there, and began talking, the preacher said to him, “Mr. Hernandez, God loves you and so do I.”

Right then, Hernandez saw his whole life, full of evil, and said, “How could anyone love me?”

The preacher explained how he himself was also evil, how God sent Jesus to die for all men, for all men are evil. Hernandez just broke down crying like a little child and prayed to receive Jesus.

After hearing his story, Sarah and Justin went away, once again praising God.

As they got ready for bed that night, Justin joked, “So Sarah, just another boring summer, huh?”

Sarah quipped back, “It was OK. It wasn’t too boring!”

Dean and His Ideal Family

2007-09-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

Dean Peterson had an ideal family. His wife, Joann, was active in the church, kept a great home and was a wonderful mom. His kids were all doing well in school and were the nicest children around. Friends, fellow church members and even acquaintances, admired the Peterson family. So he thought to himself, “What can I do to honor this terrific family of mine? How can I impress on them how awesome they are and how happy I am with them?”

Then an idea came. It crept up slowly, almost faded, then reappeared. It began to take hold, and then grew and filled Dean’s heart and mind. He leaped for joy, “That’s it! I’ll make something, something special, that will honor them all.”

He went to the garage and began to work. As he saw his idea begin to take shape, he got more excited. “This is really going to be good,” he thought, “they’re going to love it.”

He worked and worked and worked. As he worked, new ideas came, and he added them to his original design.

Once Joann popped her head in the garage, “Dear would you like some lun…”

Dean cut her off, “Joann, please, this is secret. You’re not allowed to look until I’m done.”

“I’m sorry dear, I just was wondering if you wanted some lunch.”

“No thanks, hon, I’ll get something a little later. I’m pretty busy right now.”

When Joann left, Dean continued to work. He worked so hard he didn’t notice his hunger or the time.

Finally, he heard a knock.

“Yes?”

“It’s me dear. Dinner time.”

“You and the kids go ahead. I’ll just grab a bite later.”

“Uh, Dean, usually we eat together. Couldn’t you just stop long enough to join us?”

“I know, honey, but this is important. Don’t worry, it’ll be worth it.”

“Well, OK, but we’ll miss you.”

“Me too, dear.”

Dean continued to work, until he heard another knock.

“Dear, it’s the kids bedtime and they want you to read them a story.”

“Honey, I know I’ve been out here awhile, but this job is really special, and I want to get it done. Could you handle the story tonight?”

“Uh, alright, Dean. They’ll be disappointed, but I guess it’s OK this once.”

The last knock Dean heard was Joann telling him she was going to bed.

Dean worked on and on, until finally, exhausted, he came in, and not wanting to disturb Joann, fell asleep on the couch.

The next day was much the same. As Dean worked, he kept getting new ideas, and getting more and more excited about his project. “This’ll be so awesome. It’s for my family, I’ve got to put my all into it.”

The project grew and grew, and got better all the time. Dean spent every waking moment on it. He came home from work, and headed straight to the garage. On the weekends, he spent all his time, either there, or buying supplies.

At first, Joann tried to get him to stop once and awhile, but she tried less and less as time went on. The weeks stretched into months, and still Dean worked away on his project for the family.

Dean did miss his family, but he told himself, “It’s for their good, I’ll be done soon and able to spend time with them then. And they’ll just love what I’ve done for them.”

Finally, after the better part of a year had gone by, Dean finished. He burst into the house. “Hey everyone, I’m done! Come and see!”

No one answered, so he tried again. “Hey, where is everybody? Come on out! I’m done!”

Suddenly, the absolute silence in his house struck him. He searched every room, but could find no one.

“Probably just gone shopping,” he told himself. “ Won’t they be surprised when they get home.”

Dean went into the kitchen to get some lunch. As he walked over to the refrigerator he saw a note.

Dear Dean,

If you ever do decide to read this, I guess it means you’ve finished your project. I hope you enjoy it yourself. We’re sorry to miss it, but we just couldn’t take this life anymore. At first the kids cried a little, because they never saw you. It was especially hard at dinnertime or at a basketball or T-ball game. But we figured we could endure it until you were done. Then I started getting tired of taking care of the kids all by myself. I gave up on most of the housework, and started yelling at the kids more and more. This, combined with your absence, caused them to start losing sleep. They cried themselves to sleep, and often woke up at night with bad dreams. This, of course, didn’t help my sleep any, and I just got crankier.

In spite of all this, we tried to tough it out. But then the kids’ grades started falling. That made me realize just how bad it was getting. So I’ve taken the kids, and we’re now living at my Mom and Dad’s. You know the address, if you need to contact us.

Your wife,
Joann.

Dean slumped down it a state of shock.

“What a fool I’ve been,” he said to himself. Then he prayed “Dear God, how could this turn out so badly? I was just doing it for them.”

The thought came to him, “Who were you really doing it for?”

It hurt, but Dean saw the clear answer to the question at once. He confessed his pride and selfishness to God. Then he knew what he had to do. It was hard, but he knew it was the only way.

He first called Joann, begged her forgiveness, and asked if they could meet to begin to repair their relationship. Joann was hesitant, but agreed to meet. She had one condition though. When, she told it to Dean, he said, “Yes, dear, I intended to do that right now.”

And so it was, early the next morning, before most people are up, two beggars were picking through the Peterson’s trash, and discovered an unlikely find.

“Too bad it’s all busted up,” the first one said

“Yeah,” said the second, “we could’ve got a lot of money for it.”

“The world’s full of funny people,” said the first, as they walked away.

What had caught their attention in the trash were the remains of an exquisite wood sculpture, showing a husband and wife and their three beautiful children happily gathered around a fireplace, enjoying each other’s company, in a room that looked remarkably like the Peterson’s den.

This is an army?

2007-09-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

General: Lieutenant, I’m confident that today’s battle resulted in an overwhelming victory. Although, we are up against a tough foe, we have the best weapons and a great battle plan. If all our forces merely followed orders, we should have done very well. Please contact all our regiments, and prepare a complete report for me in the next hour.

Lieutenant: YES SIR, General! (Salutes)

General: (Returns salute, leaves stage).

Lieutenant: (Putting on microphone and headphones, but speaking to himself) First, let me contact the artillery. (Speaking into the microphone) HQ to artillery. Hello, please report.

Artillery (voice over radio): This is Artillery, over.

Lieutenant: Artillery, please report. How did the shelling go.

Artillery: Very well. We didn’t break a single gun.

Lieutenant: What!? Say again, artillery.

Artillery: I said, the shelling went very well. We didn’t break a single gun.

Lieutenant; (puzzled): Well, I’m glad you didn’t break any guns, but how did the shelling go. How much damage did you inflict on the enemy.

Artillery: Well, we didn’t fire – but the guns are all safe.

Lieutenant: Please explain, why didn’t you fire. HQ has given you the newest, best weapons, guaranteed superior to the enemy’s. Why didn’t you use them?

Artillery: Well, that’s just it. We figured we had all these nice, new, expensive guns and we were afraid we would break them. I mean, war is pretty hectic. Someone might make a mistake, or worse, we might get fired upon and get hit. Then we’d wreck your nice new guns. So we figured we’d just not shoot. That way all the new guns are safe, and we don’t waste any of the general’s money.

Lieutenant: Well, it’s strange to me, but I’ll report it to the general and see what he says. HQ, over and out

Artillery: Artillery, out.

Lieutenant: (to himself) That was strange. Oh well, the rest of the divisions could still put up a good fight. Next I need to check on the tank corps. (Speaking into microphone) Tank corps, this is HQ, come in.

Tank corps: HQ, this is tank corps, over.

L: Tank corps, please report.

T: Well, we tried to carry out the general’s orders, but we failed miserably. We were soundly defeated by the enemey.

L: That’s awful. We gave you the world’s best tanks. You should have easily rolled over the enemy. What went wrong?

T: Actually, we used a weapon even better than the tanks, but we lost anyway.

L: Now I’m confused. A weapon better than the tanks. They are the latest in mobile artillery, with a direct comlink to HQ, to allow for real-time battle adjustments.

T: That’s just it. We looked at the tanks and they were too complicated for us. Besides, we figured the comlink was to shaky, it might have failed, or our communications might be intercepted by the enemy – way too risky.

L: Why would you think that. Didn’t you read the manual and train your men? It’s all in there – everything you need to know to use the tanks. Plus it explains how the comlink can NOT fail and will always be perfectly secure.

T: We tried reading the manual – but it was too boring. Besides, we already knew how to use our other weapons.

L: What other weapons?

T: Out BB guns. You see, we all grew up with them as children. We are so familiar with them, using them is like second nature to us. We knew they would be better than any new, high-tech, untried tanks. I’m sure we couldn’t have done any better with the tanks.

L: (Sigh) I guess I see why you were defeated. I’ll pass it along to the general. HQ out.

T: Tank corps out.

L: (to himself) Gee, this is terrible. Our great victory is deteriorating. I better get the rest of the reports – I hope they did better. (to microphone) Infantry, this is HQ, over.

Infantry: HQ, this is infantry, over.

L: Infantry, please report. How was your battle today? I hope you have good news.

I: Oh we do. Very good news. We completely defeated the enemy. He completely failed to enter our barracks.

L: Say again, Infantry. You were supposed to attack the enemy’s capital. Why are you talking about your own barracks?

I: No, no. The general specifically said that the enemy’s capital would “not prevail against us.” So we mined the area around our barracks, put up barbed wire fences, kept our rifles points out the windows and the enemy’s capital never came close to taking us.

L: You mean you actually saw the capital city attacking you?

I: Well, no, it never came close. That’s how good our defenses were!

L: OK Infantry, I’ll pass your report along to the general. Do let me know if the enemy’s capital ever does attack you! HQ out.

I: Roger, Infantry out.

L: (shaking his head and talking to himself) Wow, has this whole army gone crazy? I wonder how our air support did? (to mike) Air support, this is HQ, come in, over.

Air support: HQ, air support here, over.

L: How did you do today? I need your report.

A: We did fine. We only lost one plane.

L: That’s great, air support. What kind of damage did you do to the enemy?

A: Uh, we didn’t do any damage, HQ.

L: What, why not?

A: Well, we were flying along just fine, but then, just as we got to enemy territory, they fired at us and hit one of our planes. This upset us a lot. So we took a vote, and decided it was too risky and turned back.

L: Turned back, what about your orders?

A: We thought about that. We knew our orders. But we realized they must be mistaken. We know the general is a kind man and wouldn’t want us injured. So when one plane got shot down, we knew there must be some mistake. That’s when we decided it was too risky and turned back.

L: (Sigh) I’m sorry to hear that air support, I’ll pass along your report to the general. HQ out.

A: Air support out.

General (enters room): Well, lieutenant, how’d the battle go?

L: Not so good sir. I have reports from artillery, the tank corps, infantry, and air support. And they all failed against the enemy.

G: That’s incredible! How could our plans and weapons have failed?

L: Sir, they didn’t. It appears that, well, uh, ... your orders were just not followed.

G: Oh no, not again. Why won’t these soldiers trust me?

L: I don’t know sir. If I may be so bold, sir, I don’t understand why you keep this army. Why not just court martial them and get new soldiers?

G: (sigh) At times it does seem like I should. And sometimes I do have to remove soldiers for insubordination. But I want my soldiers to grow into a real army. I want them to trust me and enjoy the victory of following my orders. I just don’t know at times.... Say did you get all the reports?

L: No sir, I still haven’t talked to the paratroops.

G: Well, let’s contact them. Maybe they’ve had some success.

L: (to mike) Paratroops, this is HQ, over.

Paratroops: HQ, this is paratroops, over.

L: Hello paratroops. How’d you do today?

P: (excitedly) Great! We reached our objective with only minimal losses.

L: That’s wonderful, paratroops. How did you do so well?

P: Well, it looked really bad just jumping in behind enemy lines. They seemed to be everywhere and heavily armed. Plus we didn’t see our air support, or any other supporting infantry, tanks, or artillery fire. We felt like turning back.

L: Uh yes, paratroops, our other units failed in their assignments.

P: Oh yeah, that would explain our hard struggle and our losses. But in spite of how it looked, we went ahead as planned. We were under heavy enemy fire, but our new body armor protected us. And our weapons cut right through the enemy defenses. It was a glorious victory. The general sure know his stuff.

L: Thanks paratroops. It’s great to hear your report. Over and ... wait the general wants to talk to you.

G: (to mike) I just want to add my thanks and heartfelt appreciation for a job well done. Take a well deserved rest and enjoy your victory. Over and out.

P: Thank you sir, over and out.

G: (to lieutenant): Lieutenant, that is why I keep my army. A report like that so warms my heart. Good night lieutenant.

L: Good night sir!

The Cruel Father

2007-09-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

Steve couldn’t believe it. How could his father be so cruel? Steve thought they were going for a drive and he loved spending time with his father. Lately it seemed they had precious little of that, so Steve was really looking forward to their time together

It had started well enough. They drove for awhile and had a great time talking. Then they stopped. Steve’s dad said they had to visit an office building. “No problem,” Steve thought. How wrong he was. That’s where the trouble began.

They entered one of the offices. While Steve sat down, his dad talked to the receptionist. After a time their names were called, and they went into an inner office. There they waited and talked, until HE came in.

‘HE” was a very large man, who scared Steve from the minute he saw him. While Steve sat nervously the man talked to Steve’s dad. They made Steve lie down on his stomach on a table. Then the man took out a large needle and stabbed Steve in the back with it! Steve started to get up, but his father motioned him to stay put. Steve couldn’t believe it! How could his father bring him to be tortured?

Steve lay there in shock, numb from fear as a burning sensation spread out from the point of his wound. After a few minutes, The evil man took up another mean looking instrument and began to poke at Steve right where he had already stabbed him. In Steve’s shocked state, the fear hurt worse than the poking.

When the big man took out the knife, Steve got really scared. Steve didn’t care what his father said — he had to get out of there? But just as he was starting to get up, his father gripped him and held him down. What! How could his dad do this!

Steve wanted to be a man, but his fear and pain overcame him and he broke down and cried. As he sobbed, the awful man began cutting on Steve. Steve, overcome with intense pain and fear, tried his best to get away. But his dad and that man were too much for him. Steve just sobbed convulsively.

He couldn’t believe what was happening. What had he done? Why did his dad suddenly hate him so? What could inspire his dad to be so cruel? The pain of betrayal was almost as great as the pain he felt in his body.

After what seemed like an eternity, the man stopped cutting. Just when Steve thought it might be over, the man pulled out a needle and began poking him again. Steve was beyond crying by now. He just bit his tongue and it was all he could do to keep from screaming.

Finally the poking was finished. The man said a few words to Steve’ father and left the room. Steve glared at his father. “How could you do this to me?’ his eyes flashed. But in spite of his pain and fear and anger, the ordeal had exhausted Steve and he couldn’t hold his eyes open anymore. He fell asleep on the table.

Mr. Pearson looked at his son asleep. “I’m glad he’s finally asleep.” he thought. “At least he doesn’t have to feel the pain anymore. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I’m glad it’s over.”

He hated to see his son suffer. The angry glance just before Steve had fallen asleep had hurt him deeply. He had tried to explain. Several times he had sat down with little Stevie and tried to explain what was happening. But how do you explain birthmarks, and cancer possibilities to a three-year old? He knew his son would eventually understand, but how long would it take? He knew he had several weeks of relationship repair in front of him.

With a deep sigh, he picked up his little Stevie and carried the sleeping child in his arms out of the surgeon’s office.

It's a Plane

2007-09-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

OK, Don, back at you. (No, it's not a submarine, but I thought you'd like the coolness factor.)

A Rose in the Desert

2007-09-21T05:34:00.000-07:00

I looked out my window at the desert trail going by my house. Something was different, different from yesterday, and all the days before. Then I noticed it—a beautiful, luscious red rose, growing right in the middle of all the cactus, sand, and sage brush. I gazed awhile at this unique , lovely sight—taking in its beauty while contemplating the strangeness and wonder of that lone rose.

“A gift from El Niño,” I thought, “but it won’t last long out here. Too bad...”

Sure enough, the blazing summer sun did its work, and, before long, the rose had begun to wilt.

I saw a jogger come by, a business type no doubt, as I could see from the efficiency of his jog and the trim of his sweat suit. He stopped a bit when he caught sight of the rose. To my surprise, he began talking to the rose:

“Hey rose, good job, branching out here in the desert. Keep up the effort, put in the long hours, and I’m sure you’ll make it.”

Then he jogged off.

The sun still beat down, and the rose continued to wilt.

In a little while a lady came jogging daintily by. When she saw the rose she said, “Oh, you poor thing. Let me help.”

She sprinkled a few drops from her water bottle onto the rose and jogged off.

Unfortunately, the sun quickly evaporated the water, and the rose wilted some more.

Then I saw a deacon from one of the largest churches in town out for his daily walk. When he saw the rose, he stared a minute and then frowned. “No wonder you’re wilting! Roses don’t belong in the desert. Such rebellion! Serve you right if you fry to a crisp under the desert sun!”

He walked off, looking strangely satisfied with himself, as if he’d saved the world from yet another evil.

I can’t be sure, but I think the rose began to wilt faster while the deacon was talking. I began to give up hope, and was sure the rose would die within the hour.

Another visitor came walking by, but he looked almost worse than the rose. He had obviously walked a long way across the hot desert, and it had taken its toll. He sat down and was just about to drink from his canteen when he caught sight of the rose. He stared a minute, and then, instead of drinking, he took his canteen and poured its entire contents on the ground under the rose. When he was done, without saying a word, he got up and walked away.

I went to bed happy that night, thanking God for the hiker with the canteen, and the lovely rose, no longer wilting, but once again showing its radiance outside my window.

Moon Doggled

2007-09-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Last night I was tired and didn't feel much like looking at stars. However, I felt I was close to finding Neptune, so I went outside with my binoculars. The moon is higher and brighter. I had trouble even finding Capricorn. I gave up.

It would be a perfect time to look at the moon, but I'm not that interested right now. I went inside, got dinner and watched three episodes of "Two and a Half Men" (they've been recording on our DVR). I haven't laughed that hard for a while. Then I went to bed. It was nice to relax.

I did check out my binoculars. I was wrong about them being 7x50. They are Simmons Model 1107 which are 10x50 binoculars -- 10x magnification with 50mm lenses. Not bad. Their field of view (FOV) is 367ft @ 1000yds. If I am doing my math right that means their angular FOV is 7 deg. No wonder I get so much better context than with a 1 or 2 deg FOV telescope. Plus I can see much better than the 5x24 sighting scope on the reflector or especially the little sighting scope on my NGC 60 refractor.

Progress

2007-09-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

I made progress with my friends' reflector.

Last night I looked at the moon (just to practice pointing the scope). I also saw Jupiter and its moons. I saw three moons. They were very clear. This morning I took it out again and saw Venus. I could clearly see the bright crescent of Venus' light side. (Venus, just like the moon and earth, has a light and dark side because of the sun.)

Last night I tried again to find Neptune. First I aligned the equatorial mount to the north star. Let me explain why.

Astronomers find stuff using a grid that is like latitude and longitude. The grid is aligned to the earth. The celestial north pole is directly above the earth's north pole (it is very near where Polaris, the "north star" is). The celestial south pole is above the earth's south pole and the celestial equator is -- you guess it -- above the earth's equator. Instead of longitude astronomers use right ascension, or RA. Instead of latitude they use declination or dec (not "declension" as I wrongly told Carolina when we were out the other night. Maybe grammar and astronomy don't mix so well.)

Declination is measured in degrees just like longitude. The equator is zero degrees, the north pole 90 deg and the south pole -90 deg. RA is measured in hours rather than degrees. There are 360 degrees in a circle. There are 24 hours in one day which is one revolution of the earth -- in other words a circle. So one hour equals 360/24 = 15 deg. Astronomers picked hours to make time and position comparisons easier. Time plays an important role in finding celestial objects because the earth is always moving. The zero point for RA is the vernal equinox point. The vernal equinox point is where the sun is at the March equinox, which is the first day of spring and a day where nighttime and daytime are the same length. The earth is tilted compared to our solar system so the solar system plane and the earth's equator plane are not the same. The vernal equinox point is on the intersection of the earth's equatorial plane with the solar system plane. (BTW, most of what I just said also applies to the autumnal equinox, except it is at 12 hours RA.)

The cool thing about an equatorial mount is that is turns on two axis. One axis is RA, the other is declination. The first step in setting up the telescope is to align the telescope mount with the earth so the scope RA axis matches the earth (and celestial) axis. I set up the telescope tripod so it was stable. Then I set the declination to 90 deg. Besides the RA and declination axis, the mount can be turned horizontally and tilted vertically. I used these controls to point the scope at Polaris. I then locked these controls -- they should not change once the scope is aligned. The scopes RA axis was now aligned with the earth's axis.

If the scope has a motor aligning the mount allows the motor to keep the scope synced with the stars. I don't have the motor but aligning it correctly has other uses. Now I could control RA and dec independently. The mount RA and dec axes have angle markings. If they were accurate enough I could use them to find things. I thought maybe I could find Neptune using the marking. I found out last night that they aren't precise enough for that.

Still, aligning the mount helped me a lot. First, stuff is always moving. You find something and pretty soon it leaves. I was using a 25mm eyepiece which gave the scope a field of view (FOV) just over one degree. When I point at something in the center of my eyepiece the edge of the eyepiece is about 1/2 deg away. The earth rotates 15 deg in an hour, or about 1 deg every four minutes, or 1/2 deg in two minutes. That means that once I point the scope, the object will be out of my FOV in about two minutes. Having the mount aligned means I can find the object again just by turning the RA axis. (I take the place of the motor.)

Aligning also helped me search for Neptune. I looked up the position of Neptune for last night. I also looked up the positions of the stars near Neptune. (I used Google Sky and Wikipedia. Google Sky is cool because it shows the RA and dec for where the mouse is pointing.) I used the dec markings to set the scope at approximately the right dec for δ Cap. Then I turned the RA until it looked like I was near δ Cap. I used the sighting scope and found δ Cap. The sighting scope had a wide enough FOV so I could see δ and γ at the same time. I moved down a little and saw κ and ε. I scanned up a little and to try to see 45, 44, and 42 Cap, but the sighting scope could not pick them up. Still I was pretty sure I had found δ and γ Cap. Since γ Cap is about the same dec as ι Cap, I moved the RA right to get to ι Cap. The picture below is from Google Sky. It got compressed in the blog so it's hard to read. Neptune is the big blue ball (just an icon, it's not really that big in the sky). δ Cap is on the middle of the left edge, γ Cap is just right of it. ι Cap is under the red box.

I thought Neptune was pretty near the same RA as ι Cap. When I found ι Cap I locked the RA and moved up with the dec. I never really found Neptune. When I went back inside I looked at Google Sky and decided I had spent my time looking in the red box. I believe I found the star in the lower right corner of the box and didn't stray too far from it. I didn't go back out because I really do need to sleep sometimes.

Now I have practice working the scope on the mount. I have a much better idea of its FOV and how to find stuff with the sighting scope. Maybe tonight I can bag Neptune. Hopefully I'll also have time to see how Uranus looks with it, and maybe Andromeda.

Newtonian Reflections

2007-09-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

I felt better Sunday after sleeping in. Church was encouraging because of the people. I get discouraged as treasurer because we are out of money and behind on our bills. We had a meeting about fixing the roof. It went well -- despite our lack of funds we've almost raised enough for the roof. Interacting with my friends there was also very encouraging. I was also encouraged by some generous giving. I even went to evening service, which is rare for me. Carolina and I both went. Don spoke about what we needed to do to as a church. It was convicting but good.

Sunday morning I was rambling about stars or something and found out a family at church has a decent telescope they rarely use. They have a motor drive but couldn't figure out how to use it. I asked to borrow it and they said yes. I was sure I could figure out the motor drive and offered to explain it to them. My friend from college with the big scopes explained his motor drive to me and I think I know pretty much how they work. My friends brought their Sunday night and let me take it home.

This prompted me to become more familiar with my scope and it's capabilities. Turns out I have a Meade NGC 60 (NG 60 plus a "computer"). It is a 60mm refractor with a 700mm focal length. I learned how to compute field of view and magnification and what apparent field of view mean for an eyepiece. There's even a FOV and magnification computation website. I have a 25mm eyepiece which gives 28x mag with a 1.79deg FOV. I also have a 9mm eyepiece with 77.8x mag and 0.64deg. (The computation website only lists a Meade 9.5mm. Do I have a newer eyepiece? Is there round off?) I also have a doubler. They are 1.25" eyepieces.

It's hard to compare with my binoculars, although I did learn some here. They are 7x50 (7x mag and 50mm lens) probably have about a 5 or 6 deg field of view. My scope's 60mm lens should collect 1.44 times as much light as the binocular 50mm lens. Or can I double the binoculars since there are two lenses? (Probably not since they each go to a separate eye, but it's not obvious.)

It seems like a telescope would be easier to use if you could start with a binocular like FOV. Why can't I find a 100mm or 200mm eyepiece? I suppose that's what the finder scope is for, but I have a lot of trouble seeing dim things in it.

My friends' scope looks like it is a Meade LXD75 Series 114mm Newtonian reflector. It has a 910mm focal length. They only have a 25mm eyepiece and couldn't find the motor drive. Bummer! At least my Meade 1.25" eyepieces look like they'll fit. They had a good tripod with and equatorial mount and I got it put together easily. It all looked very familiar -- a small version of what my friend of long ago had.

I took their scope out into my backyard. I wanted to look at Jupiter (easy target for practice) but it was too low and behind a tree and street light. I decided to go after Neptune again. This time I actually found δ Cap with my naked eye, and even barely saw γ. Before I had thought it was too bright at home. Practice makes perfect. I also learned at my eye examine Saturday that my right eye is weaker and doesn't see as well (I actually knew about it for a long time but hadn't thought about it). I always look through scopes with my right eye. I tried using my left eye more. Even so, I couldn't get Neptune with their scope. I need more practice. Today I realized I should also make use of the declension and RA markings on their tripod! (Duh. Hey I'm learning!)

I scanned with binoculars and at times thought I might have caught Neptune, but my final thinking is not. Too dim. I'm now very familiar with that little patch of sky and looked up the apparent magnitudes to compare with Neptune. Neptune is 7.7 (brightest) and all the stars I have values for are magnitude 7.0 or brighter.

I also got my scope out and used its computer. It pointed me at something that could have been Neptune. I never figured out how to confirm. I tried scanning for context, but just got confused.

Again I learned a lot but was a bit frustrated. And again I stayed up too late and am tired today.

Concert Under the Stars.

2007-09-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've noticed by now that astronomy is consuming me lately (DUH!!). Saturday I was more than a bit tired. I was very tired, but couldn't sleep in late. I thought I'd catch a nap but it never happened. This made me spacey and dead tired most of the day. I actually didn't stay up late looking at stars. I still had a very good day.

I took our 1989 VW Fox in to be smogged. Bad news -- it failed. Good news, it didn't seem too bad a failure, but who knows. Better news -- apparently the wonderful State of California will pay us $1000 to take our car off the road. It's a program to get rid of polluting cars. I couldn't believe it, since the bluebook on the Fox is, let me guess, just a shade under zero. I filled out the paperwork and we'll see if we're approved. We meet all the listed criteria. Sounds too good to be true. We were going to keep the Fox as a second car, but this seems too good to pass up. The cold statement "Then you take your car to a California approved dismantler where it will be crushed." is a bit harsh for a car we've grown to love, but hey we all have to go sometime.

Shopping went well but took a long time because I had an eye appointment at Costco. MB shopped while I was examined, but then it took forever to sign up for new frames and lenses. Same price as Lenscrafters (with my coverage) but I have to wait 1.5 to 2 weeks. Exam was slightly cheaper than Kaiser. Oh well, at least they were nice. We finally got home at 3pm. Carolina and I wanted to eat early because we wanted to go to a concert we thought started at 5:30 (more below). This is why I had no time for a nap.

So that night we to the concert. It was the Funk Brothers and was a part of Lancaster's Aerospace walk celebration. Lancaster boulevard was blocked off from Sierra Hwy to Fern. The concert was at Fern -- the Fern street sign hung over the back right of the stage. I was tired and it wasn't all my favorite music (but it was still very good) and I got squeezed next to a big guy. Even so I still had a lot of fun. We came across friends including Mike who played trombone for the concert because they like to hire their horn players locally. The weather was great. The concert actually didn't start at 7:30 and we got there a little before 6:00 so it worked out pretty well. We sat and talked and saw the sunset. Then we got to hear the concert.

While waiting and during the concert I noticed the stars (whoa, big surprise!). It was very light and I only see the very brightest objects. I saw Jupiter above Antares and later found Vega. Arcturus was right above the stage, since it was facing east and we were facing west. Recently my mom sent me a cool email showing the relative sizes of things. The content was a lot like this site. This picture shows the planets -- earth is on the left of the bottom row.

Here are the planets with the sun.

And here is the sun compare to other stars.

It's pretty cool and it was still on my mind a bit.

I had a reflective moment. There I was, little me, at a small concert -- I doubt there were more than 500 people present, maybe a 1000, I'm bad at estimating crowd sizes. I was small compare to the concert. The concert was small compared to bigger events. We were all small compared to the earth. The earth is small compared to Jupiter and especially the Sun. The sun is a relatively small star. It is very small compared to Arcturus which is a red giant. (Arcturus is not as big as Betelgeuse, but it's still pretty big for a star.) I felt like I was seeing through several orders of size magnitude. I felt small, but also happy to be in my God-given world. It made me feel good and well-cared for.

Saturday night I went to bed very tired and slept in Sunday morning. Finally I had a chance to rest.

Neptune?

2007-09-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

I had a fun day yesterday. At work we had a team building time which meant that we had a nice lunch and then went bowling. I did well, bowling 138 and 177 officially. They let us keep bowling a third game but turned off the lanes just before we finished. I was close to 200 -- 183 in the ninth frame with seven pins on my first ball and a makable spare in the tenth. Even better, our team did well. Steve, who I play racquetball with, bowled about as well as I did. Betty and Angela did well too. We got third place which meant a $100 gift certificate to BJ's. We actually won something! When we got there we threw a couple of practice balls, but there was no practice -- the machine started scoring right away. Ironically Steve said, "Don't worry, we're here for fun. We're not going to win anyway." He he.

Carolina was feeling bad because her friend, Theta (pronounced "thee-ta" not "tha-ta" like the Greek letter θ) died a couple of days ago. I met Theta a few times and talked on the phone briefly many times. She was a wonderful woman and was always leaving pleasant and encouraging messages for Carolina.

Well, as I started to say, Carolina was feeling bad and wanted to get out of the house. She decided to go to Universal Studios for which she has an annual pass. She called me and told me she could pick me up from work. This was a good thing, because I was a bit short on hours and it gave me time to make them up. I normally leave work at 5:40 to catch the last bus. Carolina picked me up at 7:30. We had dinner and drove home. We got home around 9:45.

I was a bit tired and it was a bit late, but I wanted to go out to look at stars. I wanted a shot at finding Neptune and a chance to see Uranus in my telescope. Saturday is our date night and I didn't think Carolina would want to spend another date looking at stars. (We just did that last week plus we're planning to be out at the Aerospace walk and Carolina can only handle so much outdoors before her allergies kick in.) If I wait till next week the moon will be up and make viewing harder, so I was motivated. Carolina was interested too, so we went.

We decided to go to church. It's fairly dark there -- I had been there Thursday night and noticed better viewing conditions than I expected. We got there around 10:30 and set up behind the back classroom. This got us away from the security lighting. There's still a little light, like anywhere in around here, but it's pretty good. There are obstructions -- building, tree, power lines but we had a mostly clear sight toward Capricornus (where Neptune is) and Aquarius (where Uranus is). The power lines were kind of in the way, but we could get around them and I actually used them to help point my telescope.

I found Capricornus and Aquarius pretty easily with my naked eye. Much better than near my home where I needed the binoculars to see them. I easily found Uranus in the binoculars -- so much easier after you've done it once and when you can actually see the guide stars. Here is the Wikipedia Capricornus chart.

Right now Neptune is next to γ Cap as this Sky and Telescope picture shows.

I found δ Cap and γ Cap easily with my eyes. In the binoculars I thought I might have seen Neptune. It's possible, they say, with good binoculars. Mine are pretty good, but usually when "they say" it's possible, I can't do it because of imperfect conditions and my old eyes.

I pointed my telescope at δ Cap with the help of the power line and found γ Cap by moving to the right and down slightly. With my lowest power 25mm lens δ and γ are just wider than my field of view. (I can see both in about half my binocular field). I then slide up and right to what I thought was Neptune. I tried my higher power 9mm lens. Less light but I was able to see it. Then I tried my doubler with the 9mm. Not enough light to see much.

I wanted to double check that it was Neptune. I couldn't really tell that it was much different than a star, which bothered me. I tried to look up but a power line (the one that helped me guide the scope to δ) was in the way. It slowly moved the scope forward so I could look up more. Move a little, readjust, move a little. It worked. I found nothing further up and to the right, but it was hard to be comprehensive. I went back to what I originally thought was Neptune.

I looked again in the binoculars. I'm pretty sure I saw what I thought was Neptune in the telescope. With the binocular wider field I could compare the γ to Neptune distance with the γ to δ distance. The looked about equal to me.

I would have liked to point my scope at Uranus, but Carolina was ready to go home. I knew finding Uranus in the telescope would take some time. However, Carolina volunteered to put our folding chair away. While she did that I pointed my scoped at Albireo. I've wanted to do that since Carolina gave the scope to me this summer. Albireo is a blue and gold double star. I saw it a long time ago in a friend's 12in reflector. I've tried a few times but never succeeded. Last night I got it on my second try. I focused and saw the double -- the first I've found on my own! I almost missed it because (duh!) it wasn't nearly as brilliant as in my friend's scope. But I could still see a bright gold star and a dimmer blue star. Neato!!

We went home and I doubled checked Neptune on Google Sky. I discovered I could copy the Google Sky image. I made this picture.

The big blue ball is a Google Sky icon, not how Neptune really looks in proportion. δ Cap is on the left at the same height as Neptune. γ Cap is to the right slightly below δ. OK, here's my dilemma. γ Cap to Neptune is not exactly the same distance as γ Cap to δ. Did I remember wrong? Was I just rounding off? Or did I pick up some other faint star? There is a star that is near the "δ-equal-distance" point. It's hard to see in the blog's compressed version of the picture so I circled it in red. It also is on the Sky and Telescope chart above. Is that my Neptune? Maybe I sometimes saw Neptune and sometimes this star? Or is it so dim I shouldn't worry about it? If I was looking at the star, I didn't find Neptune when I went up and right. Did I just miss it? On the other hand, if I was looking at Neptune I never saw this star go by.

The Google Sky picture and even this compressed view give me more data for how to look. The three stars above δ Cap give context (I think I saw them last night). A star below Neptune and one to the right also should help. I need to get back out there, maybe Sunday night. Maybe the top of the Tehachapi Willow Springs road would be a good place to go. Is there a way to increase my telescope field of view so it is like the binoculars. Say with a 50mm lens or greater? Should I try using the computer on the scope and see where it points?

It got to be very late and am tired today. Perhaps I'll need a nap. It was worth it but I cannot keep losing sleep without bad things happening.

To the Moon or Bust

2007-09-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

A new X Prize is available. For a space and science geek like me it's a great time to be alive.

Uranus and Astro Fun.

2007-09-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

I'm having an awesome time with astronomy. Tuesday the Chathams had a birthday party for Hannah. We talked about going somewhere and doing some star gazing, but it never really happened. However, we were in their backyard and got to look at the sky some. I had brought my binoculars. I had a great time with Beth, Marybeth and Jed looking at stuff. I found out that my binoculars are not so great for finding Jupiter's moons, at least not from the suburbs. I'll need my telescope next time. I was able to show Jed how to find the Andromeda Galaxy. It's amazing how easy it is once you've found it! I hope I can get some people out a few more nights, especially while the weather is good.

Yesterday I got an email from NASA (we've been good buddies for a long time) with a link to this Voyager video. They are celebrating Voyager's 30th anniversary and right now all the Voyager planets are visible. Jupiter is easy. Go out in the evening and look south. The bright "star" you see is Jupiter. It is above and slightly to the left of Antares, the brightest star in Scorpius. Saturn is not too hard to see either, except right now it is only right before dawn next to Regulus, the brightest star in Leo. They are in the east at sunrise, below Venus.

Uranus and Neptune are harder. Uranus can in theory be seen with the naked eye and Neptune with good binoculars. For me, more like binoculars for Uranus and my telescope for Neptune. I tried for Uranus last night. I had many problems.

I did my looking near home. Lancaster is better than the big city and is at 2400ft, but there is still light. I could walk to the vacant field next to the freeway for a little less light. When I got there I noticed light clouds blowing through.

Uranus is in Aquarius. I at least now know where Aquarius is. However, Aquarius is a very dim galaxy, only well know because it is in the zodiac. (The astrological signs, but also the constellations through which the sun and planets move. There are actually 13 constellations the sun moves through. Twelve you hear about in astrology: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpius, Sagittarius, Capricornus, Aquarius and Pisces. The thirteenth is Ophiuchus which is above Scorpius.) I have never seen Aquarius and I could not see it with the clouds and city lights. I did find Formalhaut, the bright star in Pisces Australis. That was a new find for me. I also found Corona Australis right behind Scorpius, another new find. I called it a night and went back home. There I checked on my new finds using star charts on the computer.

Even though I had called it a night, I decided to try to understand more about where Uranus is. The NASA video shows where Uranus is, but it is not very precise. It does show Uranus at the front of Aquarius. Here is what Aquarius' pictures look like.

I use the interactive star chart from Sky and Telescope. It's Aquarius line drawing is different than this picture and the NASA video, which caused me some confusion. I found Uranus' precise location online in Sky and Telescope. Here is their picture.

This is very precise but gives no context. The Sky and Telescope interactive star chart is very wide field and has no star markings. I looked at the The Wikipedia chart of Aquarius which has context and at least labels some of the stars.

The ecliptic (the path of the sun and planets) is the red dotted line. All of Aquarius and some surrounding stuff is shown with star labels. Using this I went out and found the Aquarius delta (δ) and lambda (λ) stars. (Stars are labeled with Greek letters. The first Greek letter, alpha (α), is the brightest, then beta (β), gamma (γ), delta (δ), epsilon (ε) and so on. Even α Aqr is not very bright. Phi (φ) , chi (χ) and psi (ψ) -- numbers 21, 22 and 23 in the Greek alphabet -- are even dimmer. They are not in most charts because there are 20 brighter stars in the constellation.)

Armed with new information I decided to go back out. To find δ and λ I first found Formalhaut and scanned up and left with my binoculars. I was very happy. I thought that Uranus was near λ because I forgot the designations on the Sky and Telescope picture.

I came home and found I was wrong about Uranus (but still happy to have found stars in Aquarius). I found a more precise chart.

I went back out and confirmed my star finding, but still could not find Uranus. Even this chart did not have φ, χ and ψ Aqr. (This chart is from 2001. Uranus has moved since then so I could not use this chart's Uranus location last night.) I needed a better star chart. I figured I could use Google Sky because it zooms and shows context. It also labels stars if you have the Yale Bright Star catalog turned on. However, Carolina was doing her homework on the computer with Google Sky. Now I really called it a night and began to move toward bed.

Before I got to bed Carolina finished using the computer. Even though it was late -- about eleven when Carolina was done -- I checked Google Sky. Viola! Google Sky showed me φ, χ and ψ Aqr in context. I went back out and found Uranus, right above φ Aqr just like Sky and Telescope said. λ was actually pretty close. The ψ Aqr stars are a bit left of λ Aqr. I had already seen the ψ stars but didn't know it. I just needed to look up a bit to find χ, φ and Uranus. It's not much to look at in suburb light, but I was very happy. I can actually find stuff and navigate with my binoculars!

Today I'm at bit tired but happy.

Burning Salt Water

2007-09-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

A friend sent me this article. John Kanzius accidentally discovered he could make salt water burn by subjecting it to radio waves.

This does not seem like a hoax. It's reported by reliable news sources. Kanzius is a scientist and seems to have been careful in his approach. He had it independently checked by a chemist. Of course, I want to believe it because it is very cool.

You can do the same thing with pure water by running an electric current through water. We did it in high school chemistry. The electric current breaks water (no salt needed) into hydrogen and oxygen. The problem is that it takes more electric energy to break apart the water than the energy you get from the combustion.

Radio waves are electromagnetic fields. It makes sense that they could affect the bonds of water in a similar way to passing a current through the water. I would think the frequency matters. If so, Kanzius was very lucky.

So I'm pretty sure Kanzius came up with something. It is at least a very neat chemistry demonstration. Is it anything more? Can it solve the energy crisis?

The key question: how much energy is being put in by the radio frequency generator? Is the energy output significantly greater than the input? Kanzius' system needs to output significantly more energy than input for it to work. The articles I found don't mention how much energy is put into the system and how much comes out. Those measurements are critical.

Burning water and hydrogen is very clean and efficient. The by-product is water! I'm not sure if the sodium and chlorine are also getting burned -- they might produce something nasty.

Uh oh... now I feel like this is perpetual motion. Let me explain.

A non-perpetual motion reaction consumes the fuel. Gasoline is used in most car engines. Gasoline combines with oxygen when burned. The gasoline is made up of hydrogen and carbon atoms. When it burns they combine with oxygen and produce things like water, carbon, carbon-monoxide and carbon-dioxide. The gasoline is gone. The reaction is not circular. Energy came out, but the fuel was consumed. You need more fuel to keep going. I can't be precise about the reaction because I don't know enough about gasoline chemistry but the idea is: Gasoline + Oxygen + EnergyIn ==> Water + Carbon + Carbon-monoxide + Carbon-dioxide + OtherStuff - EnergyOut (EnergyIn is the ignition spark and EnergyOut is the heat from burning).

In Kanzius' system I think the reaction looks like this: Water + EnergyIn ==> Hydrogen + Oxygen + EnergyIn2 ==> Water - EnergyOut (EnergyIn is energy in from radio waves, EnergyIn2 is the spark to light the fire and EnergyOut is heat from burning). For this to work as a power source EnergyOut must be greater than EnergyIn and EnergyIn2. That means there is some left over energy = EnergyOut - EnergyIn - EnergyIn2 = EnergyNet. EnergyNet can be taken out of the system which is what makes this useful. So far, so good, just like gasoline. However, the resulting product is water. The reaction does not consume the fuel. That is a perpetual motion machine, which is not possible. The laws of thermodynamics state that any process like this must lose energy.

Kanzius' system requires more than water. It also requires salt. The salt molecule is made up of sodium and chlorine, which is why it is called sodium chloride. Do the sodium and chlorine somehow change the reaction so it is not circular? Is the salt consumed? Do sodium and chlorine interact with the oxygen and hydrogen to produce something else and avoid the water product? It's been a long time since I've had chemistry. Any ideas?

Say Kanzius' system actually does produce significant energy. There are still other questions.

Does the salt produce nasty by-products when burned?
How cheap is the radio frequency generator?
Can the system be usefully packaged?
The external combustion Stirling engine (which a Kanzius system powered) is not very efficient cost or weight-wise. It is not very good for vehicles like cars. Is there another way to harness Kanzius energy?
Can salt water be used for internal combustion and thus be more suitable for cars? Salt water is very corrosive which could cause all sorts of maintenance issues. It also could be very difficult to set up proper radio frequency generators in internal combustion engines.

I hope this turns out well, but there is reason for skepticism. The easiest answer will be that despite the obvious high temperature and energy of the burning the input energy is actually greater than the output energy when all is properly measured.

A final thought occurs to me. If it is the salt that is consumed, conceivably you could conserve the water and just keep adding salt. This means the real fuel would be salt, not salt water. You would also get a nifty desalinization process, which is what Kanzius was going for in the first place. This would make it a great way to to propel a ship. Your engine uses sea water for fuel and outputs the fresh water you need to survive. A ship, by the way, is big enough to possibly use a Stirling engine effectively.

More Astronomy

2007-09-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

Two more astronomy tidbits.

First, Carolina and I went star-gazing Saturday night. We had a blast. We took a couple of folding chairs out to a dirt field at Ave L and 90th West. The weather was perfect, with a mild breeze at times. There was more traffic than I expected and we were bothered with headlights for a while, but it got quieter. There was significant light pollution looking back toward Lancaster (east) but the rest of the sky was very good.

I could identify lots of constellations and Carolina learned a lot of them. We also identified many bright stars and a couple of planets. Even with the light pollution I found the Andromeda Galaxy again with my binoculars and with my telescope. Carolina learned how to find the Andromeda Galaxy with the binoculars. I even guessed at four constellations (Aries, Triangulum, Aquarius and Capricorn) I had only seen on charts. I checked Google sky when I got home and found out I was right on all four! The night was great for the astronomy and also for a very relaxing and enjoyable time together.

Second, a little more on Hercules. I forgot I had already put together pictures from http://www.acmecompany.com/stock_thumbnails to try to understand Hercules. I took that picture and updated it with my new-found knowledge of the more modern Hercules. Here is the composite.

The traditional Hercules is the drawing. I traced the new Hercules with green lines. The new right leg uses faint stars not in the traditional picture. The other constellations give reference. Their position and size is not exact, but I tried to get close to help visualize this part of the sky. Below Hercules is Ophiuchus holding Serpens. To the right of Hercules is Corona Borealis, Boötes and the Big Dipper (Ursa Major or Big Bear). At the right-bottom is Virgo. Not in the picture, the bright star Vega (in Lyra) is to the left of Hercules. Looking at Vega on the charts and in the sky helped me orient Hercules (both pictures) correctly.

Andromeda

2007-09-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

As I said in my last post, that night backpacking was a break through. Despite the confusion over Hercules I felt like I had finally connected things. However, it wasn't until today I finally solved the full Hercules riddle.

For our anniversary Carolina, my wife, bought me a small telescope. This encouraged me to spend more time looking at the stars. I learned more about the stars and where they were. I tried to figure out Hercules a couple of times and thought I had to some degree. I still had a lot of trouble finding less visible objects, but I was learning.

A few weeks ago Google add Google Sky to their Google Earth. It's pretty neat and gives a lot of info and ways to view the sky. It has helped me find stuff. I went out to see the lunar eclipse last week and Google Sky helped me find stars at the same time. I learned about the winter triangle and hexagon (yes, it's summer, but the eclipse was in the early morning so Orion and the winter stars were in the eastern sky). This was exciting because I tied even more of the sky together.

Last night I went out to find the Andromeda galaxy using my binoculars. I was in my backyard (not ideal, but at least it was clear, we are at 2400ft and there's not too much city light). I had tried a little before, maybe seeing it once, but not really sure. I was struggling, even looking at the wrong corner of Pegasus. Finally I found it! I started at Alpha Andromedae (Alperaz), which is also one corner of Pegasus. Then I found Delta and Epsilon And. (with much help from Google Sky) and onto Mirach (Beta And.). There it is a right turn to Mu then Nu And. and the galaxy is next to Nu And. Here is a chart (although Nu is missing in this chart).

I was able to repeat several times and this morning I repeated with Andromea in the West. This was very exciting for me because I have not found something like this before. I know it's not much, but it doesn't always take much to get me excited.

While I was out last night I looked for Hercules again. I found it -- also exciting. From my searching I noticed the Google Hercules lines were different than the Sky and Telescope chart I had been using. That's what finally helped me figure my Hercules confusion that I describe in my previous blog.

As a bonus, this morning I also found the Great Orion Nebula through binoculars. The fun never stops!

Hercules.

2007-09-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

I've liked astronomy for a long time. Most of my life I've been able to identify the Big Dipper and the north star. A friend in college who was very into astronomy and had an 8in and later a 12in mirror telescope taught me a lot. I even took a class while at UCLA. Still, I never knew where most of the stuff was.

I eventually learned about Orion and then Sirius. And Cassiopeia. I studied star charts and went on a backpack where we saw satellites and an Iridium flare. A few years ago I had Pegasus pointed out to me. I learned about the summer triangle and Cygnus. I still couldn't really tie things together.

In June I went backpacking again and we spent a couple of hours looking at stars. This was a break through for me. I studied charts again. We identified Bootes, Corona Borealis and Virgo. I learned a little more of the sky, but I also saw for the first time how they tied to the Big Dipper. Suddenly I felt like I was starting to put together the pieces. I was very happy.

That night we also spent a lot of time looking at Hercules. We were very confused. Hercules is huge and the stars are dim. The star chart I had was confusing. Finally Hannah noticed that we were looking at it upside down. It was still confusing, but we could at least see it.

It turns out there are two ways of looking at Hercules. The traditional way was how our star chart was laid out. It is the "upside down" way. Alpha Hercules is above his head. His left arm points at Lyra, his back is toward Corona Borealis. The keystone trapezoid is his midsection. Here is the traditional charting:

Even the chart is upside down. Here is the picture right-side-up.

There is also a newer way to see Hercules. In this his back is toward Lyra and his head is the keystone trapezoid and leans forward toward Corona Borealis. His his left arm runs under Corona Borealis and points at Serpens. Here is the chart.

Part of the confusion is that Ophiuchus and Serpens are right below Hercules. Notices how this Serpens chart even connects Alpha Hercules to Ophiuchus.

Iraq

2007-08-23T17:13:00.000-07:00

I like to think I'm analytical. I avoid politics but I've thought a bit about the war in Iraq.

I didn't know if going there was right or not. I still don't.
War is bad -- all sane people on both sides believe this. Not thinking this has got to border on insanity. Or at least terrorism.
I'm glad Saddam is gone.
I like the idea of showing that we won't tolerate human rights abuses nor terrorism.
The Berlin Wall and the Iron Curtain imploded from outside pressure and internal dissatisfaction. Shouldn't we allow the Middle East to do the same?
Just sitting back and letting terrorists get away with horrible crimes is wrong and scary.
I've always felt the worse thing we could do is go then leave before finishing. We Americans can be such flakes and it makes us a laughing stock.

So, I've not been a great supporter of the war in Iraq but I don't like to just leave.

Last week I found out my daughter, Sarah, is slated for another tour of duty over there starting February 2008. I don't like it. I think it's bad for her and us. I find myself now completely against the war. I wish we were out now and I can't shake the feeling. No argument is good enough.

Today a friend at work sent me this video:

Wow! I find myself agreeing. How could we have been so stupid! It's from a political action group called MoveOn.org. I don't really want to jump on the bandwagon and support them. But I almost might.

I know there are other sides. I don't really want to listen to them right now.

Depressed.

2007-08-21T15:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday I went to church feeling depressed. Why?

I found out this week my daughter Sarah stands a good chance of being sent back to Iraq.
Our church barely has enough money to get by. I'm the treasurer so I have to deal with it a lot. We don't have enough money because we are losing people.
I'm reading a book by Donald Miller, "Blue Like Jazz." I really like the book. But I had just read parts that really convicted me. Made me feel like me and my church are failing God.
Actually the last point isn't totally right. Part of my depression was that I read stuff that sounded like I should be convicted, but wasn't.
If I ever wrote a book, I'd like to write one like "Blue Like Jazz." Now I know Donald Miller has beaten me to it and done a better job than I'd ever do.
I did a search this week on my name, Eric Miller. There's lots of us. In fact, I found at least three doing things I've dreamed of doing. So if I ever got the gumption to pursue one of my dreams (fantasies?) I'd be competing against myself and I've already done better than I ever could.
I'm behind on lots of stuff.
I don't communicate as well as I should with my wife, Carolina. Worse, I feel I've had lots of opportunities to do better and let them go, mostly because I was too scared to step out.
I'm gaining weight. I've gained over twenty pounds since November 2005.
I had a physical. It all came out good. However, my cholesterol and blood sugar are worse, even though they're still OK.
I get hyper a lot (see previous post, and I still hadn't made the thyroid connection).
I got more depressed in church. Ivan Orellana spoke. He's not a polished speaker, but God has been speaking to him and he reached a lot of people. It's cool that a young person who grew up in our church is listening to God. However, I didn't get much out of it. I felt cold and cynical. I've just been dealing with a Jehovah's Witness paper on how John 1:1 does not say Jesus is God. It is poorly written and shows really bad thinking and lack of knowledge about Greek and language. I like people to think straight and I felt like I was judging poor Ivan based on my frustration with the silly JW paper.
I've had periods of feeling old and seeing my life slip away.

Now I'm depressed just from writing my list!

Before church service I talked to friends and it helped some. Rick Curtis -- my first successful Greek student who is now DOM of our area (Director of Missions, which is Southern Baptist for Bishop) -- was visiting. After church service he saw me sitting by myself and talked and prayed with me. That helped a lot.

I really have a lot to be thankful for

Carolina loves me and stays with me despite all my problems.
My children are all doing well. They even talk to me and share their lives with me.
Sarah is engaged.
God loves me and has taken care of me for many years.
Likewise our church. Even though we've been on a financial edge for almost a year, we've always managed to pay the bills. We've even raised a lot of money to fix our leaky roof.
I've had a wonderful summer. I've never been so active. A 25th anniversary cruise with Carolina. Backpacking to beautiful Jennie Lake. A trip to Yosemite and Hike up Half Dome. Two trips to Arcata -- both relaxing and good chances to be with Carolina and visit Ruth.
I've got to spend time with my son, Dan. Playing tennis, talking and during the Yosemite trip.
Likewise I've had some good times with Sarah, including the backpack trip.
I like all my children's significant others. More than like, they are all very wonderful people.
I have a good job. It pays well. I get to sit in a cubicle and not be outside in the elements. I mostly get to do stuff I like. Right now the stress level isn't even too high.
I've found very good friends at my church.
Church has helped me a lot to be more honest and open to what the Bible and God really say.
Despite having arthritis and hypothyroid, I feel really good and can be physically active. If I lived even 50 years earlier I'd probably be crippled from my arthritis. Praise God for modern medicine.
Of the five of us who hiked up Half Dome, three of us made it. Dan and I were the only ones who were not really sore and suffering afterwards. I conquered my fears and did better than I possibly hoped.
I feel much more confident around people than I ever have. This is huge for me, the boy who hid in his mom's skirts, the young teenager who didn't even talk to a girl until he was a sophomore in high school, who was scared to use the phone until well into adulthood.
I have food, clothes and a nice house. I'm richer than most of the people in the world. I have time to enjoy life.

OK, that list helped. It's hard for me to see the positive. Thanks to all of you who God has used in my life.

Hyper

2007-08-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

Many years ago I used to fall asleep in meetings and at church. I got bored easily and fought my lack of discipline to stay awake. Then I found out I have hypothyroidism -- my thyroid is low. I take thyroid replacement medicine. I get tested regularly to make sure it's OK and sometimes need to change dosage. Since then I've almost never dozed off when I shouldn't.

Recently (last six months to a year) I've found myself getting uptight and hyper very easily. It's not that I didn't before. It just seems to happen more now. And I don't sleep as easily. Am I just noticing more? Am I under more stress? Am I losing faith in God?

Several months ago my test showed my thyroid was slightly high. Last week had my annual physical and got tested again. My thyroid was a bit high again, so my doctor adjusted my dosage down.

Just yesterday I made the connection. Maybe I'm hyper because my thyroid is too high. Usually when it's adjusted it's because it's too low. I have never had it high for very long so I don't really know what it feels like. I guess I'll find out if thyroid is my problem in the next few weeks.

People want to be real, to feel their raw and actual emotions. How much of that is just chemical? How much of what we call moral or immoral is also just chemical? Is it time for Equilibrium?